eternity
by The Honorable Arik Novak
Summary: When tragedy hits Hikaru, he learns to push onward, if only to reach the Divine Move. Certain obstacles stand in his way like being sent to the Heian Era, but in the end, will he ever reach it? In the end...is it what he really wants?
1. Eternal Rivals—Thee and Me

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji who comes later. But he's not incredibly important  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 1: Eternal Rivals—Thee and Me**  
_  
Toya, what makes you think you think you could ever beat me?_

Maybe that Meijin title I've held for five years makes me think that!

That has nothing to do with speed, and I'll still win and you'll pay for my hard-earned ramen.

Ha, Over my dead body!

"Damn you, Akira," Hikaru muttered, gazing at the casket made of kaya wood. It was strange, apparently, to ask for such a casket, but the boy's mother thought it more than fitting. Hikaru agreed. The boy looked—not peaceful, but certainly not dead. The mortician had done a wonderful job making Akira look somewhat healthy. A black silk kimono adorned the man's body, and Hikaru just couldn't stand looking at his rival looking so…unresponsive. He reverently took his fan, the same fan bought from the Go Institute so long ago, and placed it in the casket. Losing Akira was just like losing Sai all over again.

"And I promised you I'd tell you about Sai…I promised…"

Akira had been blooming wonderfully and had been Hikaru's only rival, the only man who could help him reach the hand of god. They were the best of the best, the veritable New Wave that took the Go world by storm. People claimed that if anyone could reach the hand of god, it would be one of the two. Even more, people claimed that given the chance, either could trounce the infamous Sai. Of course, Hikaru never gave credence to the latter rumor, but vigorously clung to the former. But the dream was no more. Akira, just barely turning twenty-six, had met with an unfortunate accident on his way out from a ramen shop. Hikaru loved the irony of it all. After all, the young man had only gone there to fetch two bowls of ramen, neither of which was for himself. At the same time, Hikaru had left to buy sushi for the other boy. It had been a dare, a silly dare. To see who could get back to the Go Institute faster. The slowest had to pay for both meals—and admit he was slower than the other. The bet didn't make much sense in hindsight.

Hikaru did not think it would cost Akira's life. He looked around and saw that the driver of the car was at the wake as well, apologizing profusely to Akira's mother. Hikaru was afraid of telling anyone just why Akira had two bowls of ramen as Hikaru had two bento full of sushi. It was impossible to think that two boys could have eaten even half of the food they would have amassed together.

He gave his condolence money, a full ¥40,000. It was the very least he could do, since he had no want for money, and Akira had been closer than a brother. They had discussed death before, back when Akira's father had died of a heart attack. Even retirement could not keep Toya Meijin from the goban, and it seemed the stress led to his death. The two boys always figured Hikaru would die first. Jokingly, Akira would point out that Hikaru only ate ramen and soda, and then Hikaru would say that Akira was already dead because he had no life. They were little humorous conversations, nothing serious. And they continued to joke about that and other things.

Hikaru's hair was long, brushing the middle of his back though securely tied with an elastic band. Akira had mentioned several times that Hikaru's new hairstyle was too radical for a go player, even more so because of his blonde bangs, and teased that now Hikaru looked more like a girl than the other boy. Ever since Akira's death, he hadn't re-dyed his bangs, so that his roots were showing quite clearly. But memories of Akira ached, and he brushed them away when he saw the boy's mother walking toward him.

"My condolences, Toya-san," he said to the weary woman. She hiccoughed and sniffed and placed a gloved hand on Hikaru's shoulder.

"I know how close you were to my Akira," sniff, "And I can only thank you for being such a good friend to him." Hikaru wiggled uneasily, trying not to make his awkwardness apparent. But the woman had a strong grip and continued, "You should already know that Akira never had very many good friends, and you were probably the first he ever let himself get close to. Thank you, Shindo-kun." Hikaru nodded and slipped away easily as one of the Go pros sidled up to the woman to tell her how amazing Toya was.

Hikaru left early. Toya-san had him sitting toward the front with the family during the ceremony, but it served only to make him uncomfortable. He had been the second person to go to the incense urn, right after the man's mother. He was followed by Akira's wife and child. It was strange, unheard of in a traditional family. People who had not really known Akira but had known Koyo wondered how the man with long hair and blonde bangs had the audacity to take such an honored place. Toya-san even asked him to keep vigil with her for the rest of the night, but the idea was unthinkable. He and Akira had been rivals, nothing more. Nothing more.

That's what he told himself hours later as he stared at his computer screen filled with old kifu. So many games, so close to the hand of god! And Akira was gone, just like Sai, and the Hand of God would forever stay away from the realm of mortals.

He felt old and weary, even though his body was at its peak. He was slumped in his leather chair, facing an online goban. He denied the numerous requests to play Sai, finding himself much too preoccupied with thinking about Akira. Why he even logged on as Sai in the first place, he didn't know. And he couldn't go to the funeral tomorrow because non-family members just didn't go to both the wake and the funeral. Toya-san had practically begged him to attend, but picking the bones of his long-time rival with chopsticks—it didn't seem right at all. He didn't know how long he had been staring at the screen when he heard a knock on his door. Slowly, with the strength and vigor of an old man on his deathbed, Hikaru walked to the door. He unlocked it without even caring who it was.

And there, on his doorstep, were two students from the Institute. They were both pros and had been pros for a year or two. Hikaru should know—he and Akira trained them personally.

"Shindo Kisei," a boy said quietly, nervously. "We know how much you respected Toya Honinbo. My condolences." Hikaru thought the boy would be the one to worry about. After all, Akira had been the boy's main mentor for the past two years.

"We really miss him. We decided we couldn't leave you alone tonight, not since you're going through such a hard time, Sensei," his friend, a young girl, added. She was Hikaru's student. An astute young lady who reminded Hikaru of Akira when he had been her age.

"Rui, Oka," Hikaru started with hesitation. He did not want the company, but something told him that he would need the support. So he sighed and opened his door wider. "Alright. Do your parents know you're here?"

The girl, Oka, grinned. "Nope! But I left a note, so my mom will know. And Rui's gonna call his mom now to let her know we're here."

Indeed, the young man had a phone to his ear and was quickly talking in Chinese. Hikaru caught some words, "Go," and "teacher," being the few he knew in Chinese from trips to the country. "Xie Xie, Mama. Bai-bai."

"She sends her condolences. Sensei," Rui started, "Really, we just want to make sure that you're going to be fine. So we brought a goban!"

Hikaru quirked a tiny smile. "I already have a goban. Most pros do, you know."

"But you need two to play blind multiple games!"

Hikaru grinned a bit wider. "Of course, how could I be so blind?"

"Shindooooooooooooooooooooooo!" And boom, Waya and Isumi were hovering before his door. "Looks like someone stole our idea," the redhead said, eyeing the kids' goban. Indeed, underneath his own arm was a foldable goban.

"We thought it wouldn't be wise to leave you on your own," Isumi said matter-of-factly.

And the night progressed. His two brightest students, Rui and Oka, twelve and thirteen respectively, were proving to be hard competitors. Hikaru and Toya had both known instantly that the two were perfect rivals. It was fate really, that brought the four together. And they'd had a blast.

After a few intense games, "Oka-chan, how is Akari doing?" Hikaru finally asked. Waya looked up from the goban to watch the conversation.

His student paused in putting the stones away. "She's…mostly fine. Didn't you see her at the funeral? She had baby Aki with her the entire time."

"I wasn't really paying attention. I did talk to Toya-san a bit, though. She didn't speak much with Akari, but I think it was more grief than purposeful avoidance."

"I hope so," Waya interrupted. "Toya-san was always very friendly, but today she felt a little…cold, toward everyone."

Isumi nodded. "And you'd think she would have spent most of her time with her daughter-in-law and granddaughter, seeing as she's barely a month old."

Rui smirked and elbowed his teacher: "Or maybe she talked to you the most since she knew you and Toya-sensei were so close."

Hikaru choked on his soda. "Don't even joke like that, kid!" He laughed. It was a half-forced, weak laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. Eventually, the teenagers grew tired. Waya and Isumi excused themselves after assuring themselves that Hikaru wasn't about to commit suicide or anything. He let Oka take his bed and Rui the couch. Hikaru himself said he would take out a futon, much to his students' objections. But he found he couldn't sleep. He was often tired during the day anyway, so disturbances in sleep weren't surprising to him. He checked the clock, and at around three AM, he left.

By noon, he had spent hours in Innoshima not doing much of anything. He walked around, went to a few museums, and of course visited Shusaku's grave. It only seemed appropriate, since Sai never got a grave of his own. He had always hoped Sai would return. Year after year, he hoped, but each May 5th only heralded an empty existence. But standing in front of the grave, all Hikaru could think about was the lost opportunity. He would never reach the hand of god with Toya Akira now. He had dreamt of the day for so long…maybe it was destined to always be a dream.

And then they each had found an exceptional student. Akira had Rui, and Hikaru had Oka. It was strange how destiny worked. Oka, as an insei, had been a Toya fanatic but changed her mind as soon as she played a game against Hikaru. Rui had been an avid Shindo fan as an insei, but after playing Akira once, decided that Toya was the better player of the two. Although he was still inclined toward Hikaru, he recognized that Akira was amazing as well. So resentfully, Rui took Akira as his teacher and mentor. And loved it. At some point, Hikaru wasn't sure when, Akari started dating Akira, and nine months after marriage, had a healthy daughter, Aki. Hikaru wondered at their name choices, but balked when he heard that the alternative was Akifumi—nevermind that it was a boy's name, Toya-san wanted to retain the tradition of 'bright' names.

Everything had seemed so perfect. Everything had been laid out, and Hikaru had been prepared to keep living life pursuing the Hand of God. Maybe he would even settle down with a girl once he had everything worked out. But life didn't work that way, at least not for him or his rival. Akira…all he could think about was Toya Akira and his meaningless death. Why? Hikaru found himself asking again. Why, Akira?

"Dammit, Akira, we were so close! Why did you leave?"

Hikaru lowered himself onto a park bench. Withdrawing a scrap of paper and a pen, he quickly penned down a few words, a poem of sorts. They didn't mean much, since Hikaru was never much of a writer. His eyes scanned the shoddy work and he quickly pocketed it. He chuckled: such randomness was too strange for the daylight.

He really didn't want to go back to Tokyo, where memories of Akira lurked in every shadow. Here, he was away from everything. His bench was uncomfortable, but Hikaru was tired. The day seemed like a complete waste, a complete waste of time. The sun was already setting…he could just take a nap…and then maybe he would get a hotel room…later. He didn't really want to sleep—his sleep apnea caused problems more often than not. But…so tired.

Hikaru laughed at himself as he yawned. Of the two, Hikaru always thought he would be the one to die before Akira. After all, his family had a history of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, not to mention that Hikaru ate ramen every time the opportunity showed itself. Of the two, Hikaru was the more reckless—why had Akira gone first? It wasn't fair! They were supposed to be eternal rivals! Why would Akira leave him like this?

The Hand of God was so close, Hikaru could sense it. He had seen his rival's fingers glow before; it was not a hallucination. Conversely, he had heard from colleagues and friends that his own fingers glowed…it was strange, but Hikaru liked to believe it. That both he and Akira were so very, very close—

* * *

_He searches only for the Hand of God._ He looked down fondly at his friend, his rival. _He thinks only of his family, friends, and Go. _He would not have him any other way.

**Not for your friendship or rivalry?**

_It is…important to him, but Sai is even more important._ He had long ago resigned himself to third place in Hikaru's heart and mind, right after Sai, whoever he was, and Go.

**He does not know Sai.**

His consternation grew. _Oh, but he does! He told me!_ Hikaru had told him a bit about Sai, just a little. And from those few words, he had been able to understand the entire scope of the man's relationship.

**He knows of Sai. He does not know Sai—and Time needs to be straightened. Give the boy strength, Toya Akira. He will play the perfect game of Go.**

_He will...reach the Hand of God?_

**It is his destiny to see the Divine Move.**

* * *

"What is wrong with thee?" a strange voice asked and prodded his cheek.

"What the hell, go away," Hikaru muttered. What was this? Who was poking him? Wait, last he knew, he was in Innoshima…on a bench. But he felt wind on his face and bright sunlight through his eyelids. Was it morning already?

He snapped up and looked around. Was he in Kyoto or something? Some other old city? He was in a large beautifully decorated room, like a scene from an NHK drama. The sliding doors were fully open, boasting a lush oriental garden. What was this? A cruel prank to dump him in some kind of Heian reenactment? "What am I doing here?"

"That is what I would like to know," a tall man said. He was dressed as Sai would have, with the silk clothes and funny hat…it certainly seemed to be Heian. His hair was long, also like Sai, but gently flowing freely with the wind instead of tied low.

"Who're you?" Hikaru asked rudely, rubbing the back of his head. He really had a bad headache. And today was Akira's funeral.

"What of thine, invader?" the man returned, looking a bit paranoid. Maybe Hikaru accidently sleepwalked into an insane asylum.

"I'm Hikaru," he said hesitantly. Then annoyed, he asked, "Again, who the hell are you?"

"Fujiwara no Sai."

"Fujiwara no Sai?" Hikaru scoffed. "I knew a guy named Sai who dressed exactly as you are, but he's much cooler." What was this guy thinking?

"I protest that! Look aloft, my friend," the man said, withdrawing a familiar-looking fan and snapping it open in a disdainful gesture, "and go back to thine home before the emperor finds thee and beheads thee for thine insolence!"

"You're really into this, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving." Weird nut jobs. Hikaru snorted and walked past the section of the garden he had already seen, only to gaze in awe at the scene before him. "What in kami's name…?" It was amazing! As far as he could see, Heian reenactment! But Hikaru wasn't stupid enough to imagine that any one company would create such accurate and huge scenes, but he wasn't stupid enough to imagine that he had gone back in time for no reason at all…right?

"Well? Leave, ungrateful brute!" the other man sniffed.

"You're Fujiwara no Sai?" Hikaru jerkily slid the door closed again and tried to catch his breath.

The man scoffed again. "Yes, I have already told thee. I am the Go tutor to the emperor. Wherefore?"

"You're Sai."

"We address not each by our given names—" and with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks, the other man realized, "Oh, how rude of me. Thy name?"

"Sh-Shimamura Hikaru. And You're Fujiwara Sai."

"Fujiwara no Sai. Fujiwarasai would be a very long name. What brings thee hither? Thou art here for a reason."

Hikaru did not know what to say. Here was Sai, the man he had ignored, then befriended, then idolized. "You're Sai." Hikaru realized that his eyes were tearing up when the other man leant forward to look at him.

"Have I done something to offend thee, Shimamura-san?" Oh, the name sounded so wrong on the man's lips! He wished Sai would just talk to him like his Sai had, call him Hikaru!

"No, not at all!" the idea that Sai had done anything wrong was impossible! "Fujiwara-san," he said, tripping over the title. It was strange calling his friend by his last name. "Play a game of Go with me."

"Go?" the man's eyes flashed dangerously and a feral grin grew upon his face. "Why Shimamura-san, thou shouldst have said that earlier. Come, sit thee down!"

* * *

Notes: Any and all research is from either Wikipedia or Sensei's Library. --awesome site!


	2. Though Plots, Intrigue Aim for Thee

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji who you'll see here. And Matsuno who comes later.  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 2: Though Plots, Intrigue Aim for Thee **

_"Go?" the man's eyes flashed dangerously and a feral grin grew upon his face. "Why Shimamura-san, thou shouldst have said that earlier. Come, sit thee down!" _

"You are Fujiwara no Sai." Hikaru muttered to himself in amazement. He had lost by a moku. Just one. Against Sai! But this man certainly did not look like the man he had known…but maybe the ghosts did not really look like their living counterparts. He did not even sound very much like Sai, and if he were honest, he'd say his own voice sounded more like the ghost's than the man before him.

"For the last time, yea. I never knew my reputation preceded me so much. And Shimamura-san," Sai smiled an enigmatic smile, "twas an amazing game." This smile resembled _his _Sai's, but lacked the same feeling that _his_ Sai had. "Shimamura-san," that damned half-thought of name! "Whence did thou sayest thee came?"

Hikaru paused. "Uh, China?"

The days passed quickly, and Hikaru never really left Sai's room. Food, fresh air, exciting Go games, all were plentiful. There was not ramen, though—not enough for Hikaru's tastes. There were servants about, but Hikaru avoided them easily. In the rare case that servants or courtiers did see him, they all assumed he was Sai. They were strange occurrences to say the least, because Hikaru knew he looked nothing like this new physical Sai, not with his eyes or even his facial structure. He wouldn't question it, however, because it was beneficial for all involved. He had taken to hiding his bangs under a hat identical to Sai's just in case anyone saw him. All he did was eat, sleep, and play Go with Sai. From his perspective, it was heaven. He did not mind that he could not interact with everyone else in the Imperial Court. He did not want to be caught in the so-called palace intrigue that had taken place in the ancient days.

* * *

"Shimamura-sensei!" a young boy called. Hikaru turned around and looked down with a smile.

"What it is, Kenji-kun?" he asked, hefting his fardels onto one arm.

"If I hadst gone to the 15-3 point—"

"Then I would have gone to the 13-3 point and it would have been an easier win. By the time we reached yose, there would be little you could do to salvage the game," Hikaru said, hoping to let the boy down easy.

"But what if I hadst played on the opposite side? Where that one cluster—"

Hikaru smiled at the boy's enthusiasm, but he wondered if the child ever thought before he blurted out a move. "It would not have made a difference, because all that territory would have belonged to me in three hands."

The boy pouted and crossed his arms. "I thought thou wert going easy on me. Why destroy me like that?"

To be honest, playing less than his full potential made Hikaru feel uneasy. The only time he could ever 'go easy' was when he was playing a teaching game in which he could converse with his opponents. It was frustrating here in the past, where he was expected to teach only after all mistakes had been made and all possible redemptions destroyed. "I guess I'm just getting myself prepared for the day when you become a great Go master like Fujiwara-sensei." That, too, was different; calling Sai by his last name was the formality that Hikaru hated the most.

"I do not know. I am still a beginner," Kenji said dejectedly.

Hikaru was uncomfortable with his student's insecurity. Kenji did have talent, amazing talent. His teachers were just too brilliant; they outshone him. "If you know when to play an indirect connection at the right place, you are no longer a beginner," he said nonchalantly—he was referring to their last game. Truly, it was a sign of blossoming talent, Hikaru realized when he saw how many indirect connections the boy had created. And the timing! It was practically inspired!

It seemed Hikaru's enthusiasm leaked, more likely poured, into Kenji, because the boy whooped for joy. "Of course!" he shouted jovially. "One day, I'll crush both of ye!"

"But you won't be doing that if you get so far behind, even before yose," Hikaru smirked just to rile the boy, and to pull him down a few notches before he raided the palace challenging every Go-player in the capital. "Now, help me take these back to Fujiwara-sensei."

The boy grumbled but offered to help Hikaru anyway. After all, Go lessons were expensive, and Hikaru had been teaching him for free. Of course, there was the fact that the boy was the only person who knew that there was a strange man living with Fujiwara no Sai. The boy had been an utter fanatic of Sai, and caught Hikaru sneaking in and out of the palace almost a year ago. Hikaru didn't regret it, though. Kenji had great potential, reminding him of a young Toya Akira blended with Hikaru himself. He was dragged away from his thoughts when Kenji's voice filtered into his consciousness.

"—imamura-sensei, it's been a while. Thou shalt not be going back to the mainland...wilt thou?"

Hikaru had lied upon meeting Kenji, the same lie he had told Sai. At first, he had said he was visiting from China and would go back soon, but the boy caught him sneaking again, and he had to elongate his 'visit'. "No, I don't think so. I rather like it here and none of the players are as good at Go as Fujiwara no Sai."

The boy agreed with a vigorous nod. "Good." Then, quietly, as if almost to himself, "This past year hath been the greatest of my life because I've met ye both."

"Me too," Hikaru agreed. And, as an afterthought, asked, "By the way, do you know where I can get some ramen?"

* * *

Hikaru played with the white stone between his fingers and examined the goban. The game was winding up, and only a few more hands could be had. With a determined breath, he placed the stone with dynamic decisiveness. Immediately, Sai gracefully put a stone down and smiled. Hikaru groaned when he caught sight of the trap into which he had readily fallen. "Man, that was so close!" Well, that had been a bust. The game finished anticlimactically, with a full game rather than any resignation. It was obvious that there were no more moves to be had.

"Indeed, Shimamura-san." Hikaru almost flinched at the name. It was just a random Go player's name he had thought up on the spot! Sai continued, "I was afraid thou wouldst avoid my trap. I really would have nowhere else to go, if that had happened."

"Just goes to show that I'm nothing compared to the great Fujiwara no Sai." He grinned and put away his stones. If they had played with komi, he might have won. Unfortunately for Hikaru, he had gone into the game knowing there would be no komi and his loss was his own fault.

"Sure," the man responded with a bored air to his tone. Hikaru had been noticing the man's moods were drastically different from the ghost he used to know. This man always seemed so unsatisfied, so impatient. In fact, he reminded Hikaru of himself.

After a full year, he still could not get over what a chance he had. To see Sai in the flesh was amazing. He couldn't get past it. "But you really _are_ Fujiwara no Sai," Hikaru sighed.

"No longer," the other man suddenly fumed, taking off his hat. "Thou art." He tried to plop it onto the other boy's head.

Hikaru fumbled, trying to make sure the legendary hat did not touch his head. He dived to prevent it from touching the floor as it started to fall and held it between unsteady hands. "Wh-What?" He stuttered, holding the hat tightly with clenched fingers.

"I have helped thee, kept thee safe from anyone who might seek to punish thee for trespassing. Thou hast sought refuge in my own rooms, and risked my life for thy safety. In return, thou mayst help me. I have been searching for the Hand of God, but I cannot find it here. I need to seek other places, for this palace can boast of no one near the Hand of God."

"Except you," Hikaru muttered, silently thinking, 'And not me.'

"I dare not act so arrogant, but I mote admit that I am the closest."

"Why not me?" The question, so simple, held such a great hurt that it shocked Hikaru himself. "I mean," he coughed and tried to pretend he had not just asked why Fujiwara no Sai did not seek the Hand of God from a man who might as well have been a stranger, "What do you want me to do?"

Sai looked at him strangely, but continued anyway. "Stay in the palace for me. Play Go. Be me for a year."

"My Go is very different from yours." Especially since he lost seven out of ten times.

"Not so. I have been thinking of this plan for quite a while, and I have analyzed thine Go. It is unique, and I am known for using strange moves. Our Go are so very similar…please play—I know that thou art very good, perhaps even better than I am."

"I could never be better than you," he responded meekly. It was ridiculous even to think that he could ever ultimately best Sai. Sure, he won the occasional game, but that was probably because the other man was going easy on him.

"Dost thou wonder why I cannot find the Divine Move within thee?" the other man suddenly asked. He smiled, more to himself than to Hikaru. "Thou art not ready yet. But thou wilt find it. I can sense it. It is not a matter of how good thou art at this point, because I believe thou hast unlimited potential, and it is astounding. Thou wilt never stop growing, and thine _ability _shall be more than enough to reach the Divine Move." Sai looked him in the eye, iridescent orbs boring into his soul. Suddenly, Hikaru felt something, long and wooden, placed into his hand. Sai curled his hand round Hikaru's, and he belated realized just what he was holding.

Sai smiled enigmatically and released Hikaru's hand. "The Kami no Itte is a matter of maturity and yearning. Thou mote want it with all thine heart, and only then shall God bestow such a gift. Thou art able to do this, Shimamura-san," he paused, probably more for effect than need, "Not only play, but thou art able to be me for a mere year. After all, thou lookest very much like me. If I had not found thee unconscious when I first met thee, I would have imagined a mirror before me!" He grinned.

Hikaru had to think. This was impossible! This was crazy! But to be Sai for a year, to live the life that Sai had enjoyed, it was such an amazing chance. And to give Sai what he wanted when he had foolishly denied the man the only thing for which he ever yearned…he really had no choice. After all, it was probably a dream—a really long dream that felt like months—from the depression from Akira's funeral. Even if were a dream, he thought, he'd take everything he could from it.

"All right. One condition," Hikaru started, snapping his newly acquired blue fan open with a swift, _zhiik. _It was most certainly not the one Sai had used, since it was blue and not the pale yellow that he had become so accustomed to seeing during his early teenage years.

"Yes?" Sai asked, eyeing the fan happily.

"Given names."

"Excuse me?" the other man said. At first, it seemed Sai did not understand a bit of what Hikaru was saying, but his face lightened as he realized the connotations of such a thing. It seemed highly inappropriate between two men who knew each other for such a short time. But he locked eyes with Hikaru and _looked_ at him, silently urging him.

"Hello, I'm Sh-Shimamura Hikaru, just call me Hikaru."

The other man smiled. "Very well then. I am Fujiwara no Sai, but thou mayst call me Sai."

* * *

Hikaru looked at his appearance in a mirror. His earlobes were screaming at him in pain, and he mourned his blonde bangs which had been snipped off. His hair was flowing freely, unbound by ribbon or string, just like Sai's hair these days. He supposed it was good that he had let his hair grow since Sai had left him…back in the modern age. Silken robes adorned his figure and his reflection indeed looked like that of Sai. He never figured himself an effeminate man, but if he were honest, he would have to say that he looked more like Sai than Sai did! Well, except for his clothing. He was wearing tan-colored clothes since wearing the light blue ones made him uncomfortable—he would look too much like Sai if he did that.

"Wow," Hikaru said with a nervous laugh. This was really happening.

"Indeed!" the other man exclaimed upon seeing Hikaru in the robes for the first time. "Thou lookest like me, thou soundest like me; we have the same mannerisms…even thy Go is identical to mine! This is perfect! I shall be back in a year, I promise thee."

Hikaru grew silent. He wanted to spend as much time with Sai as possible, but he could never deny the man anything, not after what happened the last time he ignored Sai. "Okay," he said succinctly.

"Is there something wrong, Shimamura-san?" That name! It felt so wrong, that Sai was calling him by that name!

"Hikaru." The fringeless boy muttered.

"Hikaru. Is there something wrong?"

Hikaru smiled a hollow smile. "Nope."

The other man frowned a bit. "Thou needst to learn to speak like me, though."

Hikaru waved it off. "Naw, I'll learn. I've only been around you and Kenji-kun, and I've already gotten used to the different way you guys say stuff."

"Guys? Stuff? Hikaru-san,"—the man could not just leave it at given names—"The ability to speak well is one that I have cultivated my entire life. The Fujiwara family has high standing, and I should think thou ought to at least try to learn it. Come, let us see if Kenji recognizes thee."

They left the room, watching vigilantly for any servants who might have been lurking. They came to the low wall, but only Hikaru jumped onto it. One would not be able to tell from looking, but the wall, more like a fence, was very sturdy. "Kenji!" Hikaru whispered. The boy turned and looked directly at Hikaru.

"Fujiwara-sensei?" the boy asked, squinting.

Hikaru snickered and jumped down, landing in a crouched position to save his legs. "Yes, it is I," he said in a self-important voice.

"Where's Shimamura-sensei?" Kenji asked, looking around. Hikaru turned to the wall and saw Sai's silk-clad form sitting on the fence covered by the darkness of night.

"Hikaru!" Hikaru whisper-yelled, continuing his imitation of Sai.

"Coming!" the other man answered, imitating Hikaru's voice quite well.

Hikaru glanced at Kenji to see the boy's face scrunched up in confusion. "You both sound weird. Are you sick, sensei?" Hikaru almost full-out laughed, but merely answered as Sai would have. "Thou needst not worry, Kenji-kun."

"Whatever," the boy said, "So why did you want to meet me here tonight, Fujiwara-sensei?"

Hikaru couldn't help it, and laughed. He flipped the fan out and starting fanning himself. It only made him look more like Sai. "Wow, Kenji, do I really look like Sai?"

The boy took a few hasty steps back and ended up with his butt in the dust. "Wh-what didst thou do? Thee, I thought thee werst Fujiwara-sensei!"

"That' s the plan," Hikaru laughed. Sai jumped down from the wall and joined them.

"It is a perfect match, is it not?"

Kenji, completely bewildered, looked back and forth between the two men. "That is just impossible! Wow, to think I never saw the resemblance before!" The boy bent down and fetched a lantern nearby. It was already burning, but it looked like it would go out any moment. Kenji added some dry hay and oil and looked back at the men as the light grew brighter. He frowned. "Never mind," he said, "In the light, thou dost not look all that alike. I guess in the darkness, thou canst not tell as much."

Sai and Hikaru remained silent, pondering over the newest dilemma. Sai snapped his fingers. "Aha!" He gently pushed Hikaru away from the light and muttered, "Like looking in a mirror!" In the darkness, they did look more alike. Then the man pulled Hikaru back and addressed them both. "So, we'll just have to get the other courtiers so used to seeing him at night, that they do not see much of a difference in the light. After all, there are no accurate portraits of me, so they will have naught but memories with which to compare him!"

"Yep, Sai really is a genius," Hikaru said, patting the man on the back.

Kenji looked at his teachers. "Since when didst thou start calling him Sai?"

* * *

Hikaru quickly realized that life in the Greater Palace was just as strict as history books portrayed it. He had learned a small measure of grace, enough to look like a slightly clumsy Sai.

"Fujiwara-san, art ye sick?" a nice young servant asked with a concerned face. Compared to the real Sai, Hikaru was darker, so had started to wear a lot more makeup than the usual courtier. He doubted they noticed the real difference between him and Sai; they probably just sensed that something was different.

"Yes, I am fine. How was thy day?" Hikaru learned that Sai was friendly to mostly everybody, and even went so far as to use the title 'chan' for several people. Even the empress and her children were adoringly termed 'chan,' disregarding any royal titles unless they were before others in the court. It had felt strange at first, but he tried to imitate the bubbly Sai he had known.

"Thou seemst more outgoing than usual, Fujiwara-sensei," the emperor commented.

Hikaru did not think so, but he could not very well disagree with such an important man. "I suppose I might, my liege. I feel I might be closer to the Divine Move," he added just because. Whenever he mentioned it, anyone around him became excited and instantly challenged him to a game. Today was no different.

They had the goban and go-ke out in seconds. Just like his lessons with Kenji, Hikaru had to refrain from speaking until the game was done and mistakes had been made. He wondered what would happen if he changed it a bit. The emperor would not do anything to him, would he? The game was long only because the other man did not resign when there were no moves left. He just kept going.

Eventually, the game ended. The Emperor had drawn the game out so long that he ended up losing more territory—it was like trying to beat a dead animal, hoping to resurrect it. "Knowing when one is losing is a lesson everyone must learn," Hikaru said as they analyzed the game.

"I see that I should have resigned…here," the other man said, pointing at the board.

Hikaru nodded enthusiastically. "Very good, my Lord. Didst ye see this other location, where ye forced your own stones into atari?" He pointed to the point with the blue fan.

"I realized as soon as I let go of the stone," he said regretfully. There was more that Hikaru needed to remind the man of, but it would be too much all at once. They continued to analyze the game and they quickly had another game set up.

It was halfway through the game that Hikaru clicked his tongue and forgot the customs. "Ye shouldst really have thought about the whole board. Defending that insignificant group only opens me up to do this," he said and placed a stone, capturing seven in return. He froze. Had he just spoken during a game? Purposefully distracting the other player was disgraceful!

But the other man simply looked at the board. "I understand. Now I should try to connect other territories. There's no hope thither anymore." The Emperor did not even ask to take back the move, as Hikaru was used to his students doing in the future.

Shocked but pleased, Hikaru nodded and continued the game.

* * *

Three men gathered in a room, ostensibly to discuss the Go games of the past week.

"Thank Kami-sama that Fujiwara could not make it," one unpleasant man wearing a blue robe said with disgust in his voice.

"Didst thou hear that Fujiwara no Sai spoke during a game?" another man sniffed arrogantly, "It is disgraceful."

"Yes, but it was shidougo, wasn't it? Although it is strange, maybe this teaching style shall benefit our lord."

The second man snarled in disgust. "He is desecrating all the rules of Go!" He flipped out his fan and started to fan himself to keep himself calm. "He is too energetic, too impulsive. Hast thou noticed his style has changed? Half a year ago, it completely changed to some other, weird style! And as the year has progressed, his style continues to change! It is not his ability that changes, but his _style_. It is as if there is another man playing in his place!"

"Those are heavy accusations, my friend. Impersonating someone in the Imperial Court, treating the emperor as an equal if he hath not the ranking we believe he has…that can be cause for exile—or if thou pursuest, execution."

"I have no jealous thoughts, my friend, but I do believe something mote be done about this new Sai."

"If thou truly knowst so, I shall do whatever to help thee. I live only for the continuation of the Japanese Empire. I shall not have an outsider ruining that for which the Court stands!"

* * *

_ I actually took out my fans and snapped them open to hear them to get the onomatopoeic sound right…the wooden ones, the paper ones, and the cloth ones all pretty much made the same noise. Zhiik-two pitches, sliding from high to low._

All other research came from Sensei's Library and Wikipedia.


	3. Death Hath No Power for the While

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji who you'll see here. And Matsuno who comes later.

Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 3: Death Hath No Power for the While**

_I do believe something mote be done about this new Sai."_

_"If thou truly knowst so, I shall do whatever to help thee. I live only for the continuation of the Japanese Empire. I shall not have an outsider ruining that for which the Court stands!" _

"I want Fujiwara-sensei to be back," Kenji complained loudly. It was night once again, and he was crouching behind a short fence, staring at the moonlit water. The koi pond was always a nice place to just sit and talk—and play Go. Kenji had convinced Hikaru to bring out Sai's goban despite its weight and value. Sai might kill him when he got back, but seeing Kenji's face light up in happiness was worth it.

Hikaru huffed sharply and playfully shoved his student hard, though not hard enough to propel him into the water. "What, you don't like me, punk?"

Kenji stuck his tongue out. "Thou wouldst think a teacher would be more mature than thee," he retorted instantly. Hikaru did not really know what to say, since he knew he acted immature sometimes and was not sorry about it. He saw no problem with it. After all, _his_ teacher had been childish as well.

"You can judge me when you've beat me," he simply replied. It was the decisive closing to many arguments and usually spurred his student to try harder.

But this time, the boy seemed to deflate. "Thou knowst what I was thinking the other day?" he changed the subject.

"I'm not a mind-reader," his teacher answered, playing a stone and capturing four black stones in return.

The boy glared at the goban, as if he were trying to scare it into revealing its secrets. "I want to go abroad someday. Like Fujiwara-sensei and Shimamura-sensei. I want to go to the Mainland—maybe Pekin or Kanton." Kenji placed a stone elsewhere, an attempt to attack another group. They were already in yose, and neither man could see a way for Kenji to win.

"The Mainland, huh? My…rival had a student from there. The kid actually wanted me to be his teacher, but I already had a student to whom I was dedicating most of my time. You'd like him—you guys actually kind of look alike," Hikaru said thoughtfully. It would've been cool if Kenji was Rui's great grandfather or something, but that would be a crazy coincidence. He placed an answering move, effectively preventing Kenji from encroaching on his territory.

"Thy rival?" Kenji asked, ignoring anything about the student.

_Ka-chi _A persistent attack upon Hikaru's shape.

Hikaru sighed. A dreamy faraway look plagued his features, and Kenji could see the pain that such a question elicited. "We were supposed to reach the Hand of God together. He…left. And I left."

_Ka-_chi A solid defense.

Kenji refrained from speaking until he had his thoughts together and then just looked at his teacher. "But he's just a rival. Like thou art my rival, like Fujiwara-sensei, like Tomochika-chan," he said, referring to female friend of his who lived down his street. As far as Hikaru knew, they were casual players with a relationship much like the Go relationship between Akari and Akira. They might have been a couple, but Hikaru knew that with Go, they only played for fun and teaching games.

He shook his head. "That's not the kind of rivalry I'm talking about. The way you think, anyone you play against and wish to beat is your rival." The boy placed another stone, _Ka-chi_, and nodded. Hikaru remembered that this was the opinion of many when he and Akira first proclaimed themselves rivals. Many other professionals thought that the young upstart was just calling Akira his rival because he wanted merely to beat the famous pro. None really knew the true depth of the rivalry—no one had, save Sai. It was like Sai knew instantly that he and Akira were destined to be constant rivals.

"Rivalry is something eternal," he started. Another white stone, _Ka-chi, _and a black stone was captured. It was hard to describe the rivalry between him and Akira without sounding…sappy. "A rival is the one person whom you strive to beat, to improve with—the person who walks the journey with you as you both get closer to the Hand of God…there is a special relationship, because he is not just an opponent and not just a friend. He is the most important person, sometimes even more important than your own family. He is the one who knows you best, can identify your Go from a few moves, and spurs you, incites passion—"

_Ka-chi_ A continuing attack...

"Sounds like thou art in love," Kenji interrupted, wrinkling his nose in childish distaste. Hikaru rolled his eyes. Of course his student wouldn't understand. Even in his own time, people hadn't understood the complicated rivalry between him and Akira. Then, Kenji adopted a thoughtful look. "So thou playest against him to get better, and he doth the same. Ye are both getting better at the same rate. One person wins, then the other wins…"

Hikaru thought about it. "That seems close enough." He placed another stone, _Ka-Chi_, and captured a stone on the edge of the board.

"Sounds like that thing Fujiwara-sensei was teaching me about—this situation—Ko," Kenji simplified the thought. Kenji held a black stone between his two fingers, unsure of what to do with it. "I want to take that stone…but I can't, can I?" Hikaru had to pause then. Was his rivalry really like Ko?

"Not exactly," Hikaru decided. No, his rivalry wasn't quite like Ko. Kenji placed the white stone elsewhere, effectively threatening another of Hikaru's groups. The boy probably had no idea that Hikaru was referring to his earlier statement, and not whether he could take Hikaru's stone.

"But he never got around to explaining it completely," the boy admitted, probably trying to give a reason for his misled idea.

Hikaru decided to defend his group instead of filling in the empty space that could have ended a potential Ko battle. He tried to find the right words, to explain why the analogy didn't work, and why Ko couldn't capture that particular stone. It wasn't nearly as hard as it had been to describe rivalry. This was a Go term, not a term of the heart. "Ko means eternity. Now here, black is in atari, and as soon as white takes the stone, white is in atari. Then black can take the stone, and then black is in atari again. And it repeats. So a Ko rule was instituted, and you seem to be following it well, because it would be pointless to keep going back to the same shape. That is why there must be another move before one can do anything with Ko."

Kenji paused and seemed to think to himself. He captured Hikaru's stone, encouraging the Ko battle. "It sounds endless, but in a fruitless kind of way. No point. Like an endless time loop where naught gets done." A few more moves, and Hikaru had another chance to keep the Ko battle going by defending another group. It wasn't so important to the game, so he just decided to end it and filled in the empty space.

_Ka-chi_

"I resign."

Hikaru nodded and smiled at his student's understanding: in his understanding of when to resign and his understanding of Ko. "Kind of. Which is why there is a rule against monotonous play like that. And why rivalry isn't really like Ko; although it isn't quite as pointless as you're making it sound, playing elsewhere does do some good, but that other action isn't for the sake of that 'good'—it is for the sake of the battle. Maybe there is credence to your comparison. Ko's purpose is to win the battle, however either player can choose to stop it if he wishes—but if he does, he risks losing a more important group. There is a purpose to rivalry: to grow, to become better, to reach the Hand of God."

Kenji counted the stones. He lost by more than ten moku. Frustrated, he asked, "Then what happens when ye do?"

Hikaru wasn't sure.

* * *

"Only one instructor is needed," the other teacher sneered, holding a sleeve to his face, "Why do we not play, and the winner can remain?"

"What?" he almost shouted, forgetting royal etiquette.

Someone, a man whom Hikaru knew was on the teacher's side, said, "Wherefore doth he even play Go? Sure the man seems good, but is there need for _two_ teachers?" People started murmuring and Hikaru grew nervous. He heard things like, "Wherefore is he here?" and "Perhaps he just wants to be close to the emperor?" and "The Fujiwara clan hath always clung to power."

Blind accusations were thrown at him, and Hikaru didn't know what to do.

Hikaru froze. This couldn't be right! The real Sai was supposed to play this game! "I—I," he had no idea what to say. He had never played this man, the other teacher. He had no idea whether the other man was better or worse than him, and he did not want to risk Sai's position. Moreover, if he was found out, what would happen?

"Tell me thy decision tomorrow, once we have both prepared for our epic game." And that was it. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and a hard blow to Hikaru and Sai's plans.

He walked like a zombie to the wall around the palace and tried to organize his thoughts. The flowers were looking at him, asking him what he would do now. They floated down pitifully, as if trying to reach for him. He lowered himself onto a large rock and stared up at the sky, watching the petals die away. The rock, smooth to his back, felt like cool slate, a calming sensation like ice.

But didn't he know what would happen? If Hikaru hadn't shown up—if Sai had remained, he would have played this game, lost, and committed suicide. But if Hikaru played, couldn't he change history? He could find a way to rat out this man, to show how wicked he was, before Sai came back. And then Sai could play Go to his heart's content.

But then he would never know Sai. He needed Sai! "Am I that selfish?" he rebuked himself. "I caused Sai to disappear because I wouldn't let him play Go. If I postpone this game until Sai returns…history will continue as it did, and he will never reach the Divine Move. He'll end up haunting that Go board and…I can't subject him to that if I can prevent it. If I play, I can expose the guy, be the main teacher until Sai's return and I can be introduced as his cousin or something—we can live here forever!"

He slumped as his brilliant idea crumpled in his mind. "Sai…" But if he changed history, then Sai would never inhabit the goban and Sai would never meet Hikaru. But there was the possibility that Sai would still haunt the goban at the end of this life. "But that's not how it happened!" he said, frustrated.

"You okay, Shim—, er, Fujiwara-sensei?" Kenji asked, landing on the soft grass.

"Kenji-kun! The other teacher challenged me! The one who wins will remain the teacher, and the other must leave. I—I do not know if I can postpone it until Sai's return, and I can't really play such an important game for him!"

Kenji looked uncomfortable with the new complication. "This is kind of sudden, but really, thou shouldst wait for Sai to get back. Unless thou knowest that thou can beat him, thou shouldst not put Fujiwara-sensei's position on the line. It is only a few weeks 'til his return, right?

"Hopefully," Hikaru said uneasily. Hikaru immediately composed a short letter informing Sai of the game, urging him to come home as soon as possible. He had a bit of trouble with the brush, but managed to make it legible enough for the educated man to read. He sent it off posthaste and awaited a reply.

The other teacher was growing anxious, and Hikaru could tell. He had told the man he needed to prepare…and he had been 'preparing' for a few weeks.

Weeks later, he had his answer. "Fujiwara-sensei!" Kenji's voice shout-whispered in the night.

"Is he here?" Hikaru asked, relief flooding through him.

"Nay, I was calling thee. But I _do_ have a reply from him." Hikaru could see a faint outline of the boy as he snuck into the room. Kenji would only visit at night when no one could see him. All servants were asked to stay away from his room after nightfall for this very reason.

"What did he say?"

"Shimamura-sensei, thou knowst I cannot read."

Hikaru should've remembered that. "I'll read it to you then." He unraveled the scroll, for it had been expertly rolled and tied with string unlike his own letter. He cleared his throat and began:

"Hikaru-san and Kenji-kun, I am very well. I have met many Go players, but none hath seemed to have heard thy name, Hikaru-san. Concerning the game, Hikaru: try to hold him off as long as possible, and if he demandeth a game, thou hast my permission to go ahead and play him anyway. I trust thine abilities, Hikaru-san. Thou art an amazing player, with passion and love for the game burning in every fiber of thine existence. Thou wilt not lose. I shall try to return as soon as possible. Also, I give to thee my goban for the incredible chance thou hast given me this year. I know thou hast none of thine own, and an amazing player needeth one. It is kaya wood, hand-crafted by my grandfather. It is the least of my thanks. Concerning thine education, Kenji-kun: I hope thou hast been studying diligently with Hikaru-san. When I come back I expect thee to win against me. Or at least lose by less than five moku. Thou art also very strong, and I know thou shalt become as strong as Hikaru-san and me. Continue to learn, to grow, and someday, everyone shall speak thy name as the legendary go saint. For both of ye: good luck, and may Kami-sama be with ye."

"That is…nice," Kenji said. Hikaru only nodded. So Sai gave him his goban? That was ridiculous. Even more, Sai trusted him not to get him kicked out? He appreciated the man's vote of confidence, but it was just unrealistic. He couldn't beat Sai most of the time. How would he be against a cheating opponent who even beat Sai? Well, Hikaru would just have to show the court just what a cheat the other man was. Maybe he would be able to prevent Sai from committing suicide…if he stopped the teacher before Sai even came back. It seemed like the best plan.

"Kenji," Hikaru started hesitantly. The boy looked to him in expectation gleaming in his eyes. "I think I'll play. It seems the only way."

"Well, both Sai and I completely support thee, so good luck!"

Hikaru knew he would definitely need it.

* * *

The Throne Hall was bigger than Hikaru could have imagined. He knew, from his classes in middle school, that it was the biggest building of the entire enclosure, but wow! The room was always reserved for official functions. To think that an official function included Go…Hikaru chuckled to himself.

The game developed slowly, a boring pace that had Hikaru yawning behind Sai's fan. And yet…he still caught that cheat! He really did move that stone to the captured pile! Hikaru knew the other man was wicked, but he never really comprehended that someone could actually _cheat_ in the honorable game. Hikaru opened his mouth, ready to show the people what a crook the teacher was "You just—!"

"An impostor of Fujiwara no Sai hath pass'd out in the garden!"

Hikaru froze. His head snapped around and looked at the servant. _Sai_? Was this the consequence of meddling in time? What was wrong with Sai? Thankfully, he didn't have to forfeit the game because everyone immediately abandoned it in favor of looking at the impostor in the garden.

"What is this? Such a disgraceful decoy. Probably to—hey! Everyone, look hither!" Hikaru was already by the door when his opponent shouted. What was it now? He turned around and gazed upon the extent of his opponent's corrupt ways. There, in his own go-ke, were a few stones of his opponents and between that and his captured stones, there seemed to be more upon the ground, as if someone had tried to surreptitiously move them to the captured stones.

"Thou just add'd a black stone that was in thy go-ke into thy captured ones!" his opponent accused.

"What are you saying? That's what you just did!" Hikaru shouted, pointing his fan at the other man and neglecting Sai's traditional speech.

"What a horrible lie, I saw Fujiwara no Sai cheat!" another man shouted. Hikaru knew him to be his opponent's close friend. Yet another man claimed he witnessed cheating. Now this, these additional 'witnesses,' Hikaru did not remember from Sai's version of events.

"You fiends!" Hikaru shouted. No! This was not happening! He would not have Sai banned because history decided to right itself. "You accuse me of cheating when I saw with these two eyes that you moved some of _my_ stones into your captured ones? Ha! Sir, may I say that you are a despicable man!" What could he do? He had no evidence, there were no cameras, and wasn't this the exact same thing that Sai told him had happened?

"I am not sure…I think Fujiwara-san is telling the truth." Some people argued in favor of Hikaru, and he was glad. They said they witnessed exactly what Hikaru claimed, and many said they saw his opponent purposefully plant false evidence against him. He felt a warm sensation of justice being carried out. Yes, the cheat would be caught, Sai would not be exiled, and everything would go smoothly!

But there were people who had dragged the unconscious, real Sai from the garden to the room, intending to throw him out later after he was punished for trespassing. One servant hesitated, looking at the unconscious man. "This Sai…does he not resemble the Fujiwara no Sai we hath always known?"

"And this man," a different servant, one whom Hikaru knew cared not about Go or whether Hikaru or the other man won, said, "This man before us, hast ye not noticed that he hath started to act differently?"

Suddenly, accusations were thrown everywhere, citing instances that seemed harmless at the time, questionable differences in his changed 'character,' and events that never occurred. Even the people who had stood up against the cheaters had something to say about Fujiwara no Sai's change in personality. Hikaru tried sorting through the crimes laid against him and found himself lacking a defense.

Great. Now Sai would be banished for harboring a strange man in the palace and encouraging him to break the law. Unless… "Fine! I kidnapped your precious Sai, and I have been parading around as him for the past year!" This was it. He didn't know what else to do. Now that the real Sai was back, the difference in their appearances was obvious in the strong daylight. Nothing could acquit him. He might as well make sure Sai would not be punished for it. "I yearned to play in the capital, so when I discovered a Go teacher who looked like me, I decided I could take his place. Take him back, then!" Hikaru tried not to be too nervous as everyone levied glances against him.

"Then what is the name of this man before us?" the emperor of Japan asked coldly.

Hikaru paused. He might as well. He saved Sai, so he would never meet the ghost in the future. The name Shindo Hikaru would not be important to the man whom he had idolized for so long. Unless Hikaru made it so. "My Lords and Ladies, let it be known that I am Shindo Hikaru, of no clan or family. Know that I lived to play Go, that my purpose was only to reach the Hand of God." He knew the price of impersonating a courtier, 'kidnapping' said courtier, and trying to get as close to the emperor as he had gotten. Banishment. Or the very worst, execution. He looked down at Sai's goban, his goban, and was shocked as his tears splattered onto the wood. He chuckled to himself. At least Sai…Sai would live.

* * *

"Sh-Shindo-sensei, I shall miss thee. A lot," the boy said. Under sinking sun, his eyes were glistening , hidden behind a layer of unshed tears. "And Fujiwara-sensei shall as well. He's still recovering, and no one is to tell him what has happened. He tried so hard to get back to us and grew sick in the process. "

Hikaru looked away from his student, away from the pained expression. "Tell him…I'm sorry," he said. He pulled a ribbon from his sleeve and tied his hair in a very low ponytail. Kenji…and Toya had both made fun of his hair. He would leave the world as himself, not as this Sai. "I had fun. And maybe Kami-sama will allow me to reach the Hand of God in another life. But maybe, Kenji, you will. Centuries from now, what name will people utter when they think of the best go player ever?" Hikaru asked with a peaceful look upon his face. He smiled serenely at his young student.

The boy wiped his tears away, even as a few fell upon Sai's goban, and smiled up at his teacher. "Toya no Kenji! And yes sir, I shall be the best go player ever!"

* * *

**You must fulfill your destiny. Do you wish to do so?**

_What is my destiny?_ Hikaru tried looking around, but it did not feel like he had a body. Then he remembered. He was dead. Then..._Where am I?_

**You are in the plane between life and the Afterlife. And one's purpose, especially yours, is not something to be casually said. Will you or will you not seek to fulfill the fate prepared for you?**

_I need to reach the Hand of God. Is that at least part of my destiny?_

**In Part. **

That was good enough for Hikaru. _Then let's go!_

* * *

Many thanks to the reviewer of the last chapter, Barranca


	4. This Boy Replace, Thee Shan’t Revile

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji (who you've seen) Matsuno who comes later.

Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 4: This Boy Replace, Thee Shan't Revile**

Hikaru watched his goban, the one Sai had given him, move all across Japan. All sorts of amazing players placed stones upon its surface, but the goban eventually found itself in a little village away from the players closest to the Hand of God. He felt attached to it, much like Sai had been attached to Shusaku's goban. Finally, the goban was banished to an unused room. People came and went, but none could see or hear him. Time continued to speed by like a video on fast-forward, and he never could tell who those people were or what they looked like. But suddenly, one day, time seemed to stop.

There was a boy looking at his goban strangely. He was mouthing something, and Hikaru couldn't tell what. He seemed curious, unafraid. He rose up, feeling the boy's eyes upon him. They stared at each other equally until the boy started mouthing something. Hikaru couldn't tell what on earth the boy was saying, and he said so. Could this boy hear him, see him? The boy looked intrigued and whipped out some cloth and a brush hiding around the room. Hikaru just gazed on as the boy wrote, "Who are you, mister?" Yes, he could see him! He was free! He was there, and he could play go! And what a clever boy! He was able to write so well at such a young age.

"Shimamura Hikaru," now why did that name just come jumping out of his mouth? "Why, who're you?"

The kid took the brush again and wrote a single character. "虎" Tora? Ko? The name seemed short. "Is that a nickname?" The boy looked at him strangely for a moment, as if having to translate Hikaru's words, and then nodded. His name was probably Ko, then.

"Ko, you play go?" Hikaru asked. He needed a game. Although it had felt like a second, he could also feel every decade, year, week, day, of his confinement. It was a strange, despairing sensation, and he would wish it upon no one. He wondered how Sai could ever endure it, and felt a sharp pang at the thought of his lost mentor. Whom he had saved. Hopefully.

The little boy shook his head to Hikaru's question and mouthed something that looked like "Not Go," or "Ot Ko," or "Hot Go?" Hikaru shook his head, having no idea what the boy was trying to say. The boy wavered, but started to write something: "Never mind. I want to learn Go." Hikaru nodded thoughtfully. Could the boy speak, though? It would be hard for the child to write down every question he had. He looked down to see that the boy had written two more words. "You. demon?"

Hikaru had to wonder with a laugh. Did he look like a demon? He was dressed as Sai had always dressed, and it wasn't like he looked any more demonic than he had in life. "No, child, I am not a demon," he laughed. Ko seemed hesitant, but relaxed at the sight of Hikaru's hearty laughter.

Ko wrote on a dry part of the cloth, "Didn't think so. Demon's don't wear blue. Ghost? Here to kill?" the boy wrote without hesitation, just curiosity. Hikaru had to chuckle to himself. Blue? He was wearing the pale tan, the color he'd always worn in the Heian. Perhaps Ko was color-blind as well as mute, but Hikaru knew one thing—the boy was absolutely fearless!

"Ghost," and the boy's eyes widened, "but I only seek to…play go. To reach the Hand of God." For that was what the voice had said, right? Wasn't that his destiny?

The boy smiled and nodded energetically. "I shall help you," the child wrote flawlessly. Hikaru could only smile at the child's generous nature. "Thank you, thank you. We could get started. Where is your room?" The boy grinned and ran from the room. Hikaru could finally play go again! With an enthusiasm he had not felt for ages, he tried to follow the boy.

But he couldn't.

Some force, some horrible, divine force, kept him close to the cursed goban. No. This couldn't be happening. Even Sai, when he had haunted his Go board, had been able to follow his host! Hikaru tried once again to leave, but found himself bound close to the board's vicinity. He could not even make it to the door. "Ko!" he called, forlorn. Would he ever leave this room? "Ko, please come back!" Minutes, though they felt like years, passed, and Ko walked back in, eyes wide in worry.

"I—I cannot leave the goban. I cannot leave. Please, let us play here." Hikaru didn't want to feel abandoned. The loneliness of the past centuries did nothing to suppress his extraversion; it probably only worsened his need for communication and, well, Go. He didn't suppose the five-year old knew how to work a computer…but computers probably did not exist. From what he knew of Japanese history, he seemed to be in the late seventeenth century or something.

Ko nodded and fetched two go-ke hiding in a corner of the room. They were dusty, but they would do. "Can you place my moves?" The boy wavered, but then nodded, and that was all Hikaru could ask for. "Then let us begin. I'll start at the basics…"

* * *

Life continued on that way. They were able to communicate flawlessly, and it seemed that Ko started to understand him perfectly. The boy always came with brush and cloth in hand. Most importantly, Hikaru was immensely pleased with his student's progress. In the space of two years, the boy had improved at the same pace as he himself had, and the boy started at four years old! Hikaru had wrongly guessed the child's age at first, but that only made Ko's accomplishments more impressive. He was a prodigy, a true prodigy. Hikaru still sought the Hand of God—could Ko possibly be the one to reach it with him? Ko told, or rather wrote, that he had started to play his father and his father's friends as well. He still didn't speak, but Hikaru did not mind the silence as long as he had someone to play.

"You have improved much, Ko," Hikaru murmured, not intending for the boy to hear. But although Hikaru thought he had muttered quietly, the boy grinned. "You have no idea how proud I am of you," he said louder, since Ko already heard him. It was true. Hikaru thought this must have been what Sai felt. But of course, Sai had always loved the game much more than he had…keeping Sai from his game was much worse than what Hikaru was going through now. Sure, he could not leave the goban, but he had such an enthusiastic student, right from the start, who played as many games as Hikaru wanted. Hikaru decided that Ko's treatment toward him was much better than his own treatment toward Sai.

The boy grinned in response to Hikaru's praise. Ko took his brush to cloth. "Thank you, Sensei." That too. Even on paper, the boy called him teacher. Hikaru had never called Sai sensei, even though the man had definitely earned it. How he missed Sai…

"Anything exciting in your games?" Hikaru asked. It was very interesting to hear the boy's take on his matches as Ko recreated them on the ancient goban. Ko nodded enthusiastically, an action that would likely break his neck if he did not tone it down. He was always so motivated.

He wrote quickly on the cloth. "Awesome Ko battle!" Hikaru had to smile. Ko liked that rule, it seemed, when he first began playing. The boy remined him so much of Kenji at that moment.

He watched the game unfold before him, and he could not help but gasp at the boy's amazing foresight. His moves had been flawless and so very creative! They spoke of Shusaku's moves too, but that was only to be expected since he had learned from Hikaru who had learned from Sai who had been Shusaku. Did other people notice the boy's talent? Surely he would have caught some eyes by now. He was probably better than Toya had been at this age!

"Now that, that is a great move," Hikaru marveled, but frowned at the boy's next move. "What happened here?" It was an aggressive attack, probably too early in the game to be had.

Ko blushed and looked down. Slowly, he wrote, "Distracted—cousin came in with dinner." And it certainly reflected in the boy's game. Hikaru laughed as he saw the rest of the game and its hasty end. He could have figured it out just from looking at it; after that point, it seemed Ko had tried to finish the game as quickly as possible. "I guess it's excusable…but for the next game, try to draw it out as long as possible. Play a teaching game with your mother instead, but don't let her realize it." Ko had never played a teaching game. Hikaru wasn't even sure if the boy could, but he was sure that the boy could learn.

"It's not just going easy on an opponent. You create situations for her to figure out. But do it subtly. That is your next challenge!" Hikaru had been assigning the boy challenges ever since he realized the boy's potential. He had had several: create as many Ko situations as possible in one game, win by more than sixty points, things like that. Ko always seemed to enjoy them.

But this time, the boy was frowning. Ko pulled a sheet of paper out, not white, but definitely paper, and a smaller brush than usual. It seemed he had something important to say. Hesitantly, brush touched paper. "I played against some weird guy today—he said he liked me, even though I was really nervous. Now wants to have his teacher teach me Go too. You don't mind, do you, Sensei?"

Hikaru had mixed feelings. Should he encourage the boy to do that? What if the new teacher became frustrated at Ko's lack of voice? Worse, could this man teach Ko better than Hikaru could? Hikaru felt something strange, a pulling sensation at his heart. He needed to do what was best for Ko, and having two teachers would probably benefit him…or it might simply be too stressful on the seven-year old. Hikaru was not sure what was best, but he did know that he would support the boy in any road he chose. "I do not mind at all, Ko. Do what you think is best. I'll always keep teaching you, as long as you'll have me." Hikaru felt uneasy at his own words. What if Ko _didn't_ want him? What if he tired of the ghost? After all, Hikaru couldn't leave the goban, and even he as child would not have done any of this for another person. Ko was always so selfless…

Hikaru wasn't sure when he started caring more for Ko's education than his own gratification. Hikaru wasn't used to thinking of others before himself, but he had been working on it for years—ever since Sai's departure. Ko had already done so much, so very much, that Hikaru would be a selfish jerk were he to forbid Ko from gaining another teacher. "I am sure you will learn much from this new teacher. But know that _I_ will always be the one who first taught you."

"Oof!" Hikaru, not quite _felt,_ but _sensed_ a presence wrapped around his waist. And there, the young boy was hugging the air with all his might, assuring Hikaru that they would not be separated anytime soon. "Thank you, Ko," and Hikaru tried to pat the boy's back. He wasn't sure if Ko could feel it, but it felt appropriate.

The boy pulled away and faced Hikaru with glee. "So, why don't you recreate the game between you and the 'some weird guy'?" He asked the boy.

Ko shrugged and picked up his brush. "Are you sure?"

Hikaru was confused. Was there something about this game that he didn't want Hikaru to see? "Why?" he asked.

"It was boring."

* * *

January approached, and Hikaru only knew that because Ko had decided to tell him how long it was until his birthday—which was quite a ways away. Hikaru's was even further, but there really was no reason for the conversation anyway. It just seemed that something was on the boy's mind.

He did have to wonder how the boy got around Go and life in general without being able to speak. Sometimes Ko would mouth something, but never did Hikaru hear a thing. And he could never lip-read to save his life.

Despite the boy's silence, Hikaru had learned a lot about him: his last name was Kurahara, or perhaps Kuwabara (lip-reading was still difficult for Hikaru), his father had money—but was not rich, and Ko always kept tabs on how far away his birthday was. Hikaru supposed it was because of the game he promised him. He had said that on the day of Ko's eighth birthday, he would play a completely serious, equal game. So far, he had always gone easy on him—always a teaching game. Ko always took black. But that day, they would play as equals, and Hikaru would be black. A symbol of his confidence in his growing pupil, not that Ko was better than him.

"Is something the matter?" Hikaru asked, seeing his student looking uneasily between the goban and Hikaru. At first, the child shook his head, but then he sighed and picked up the ink-stained brush.

"Played a man today."

Hikaru didn't see the problem in that statement. Ever since the 'other teacher,' as Ko called him, started to teach, Ko had always played different opponents. He never seemed to run out of them. "Anything special about this one?"

"They want to take me to Edo."

Was Ko really that good compared to everyone else? Hikaru was astounded by his student. Were the boy's teachers so enamored with him, that they sought to further his education in another city? "How far away is it? If it's not far, you can visit..." Hikaru dreaded the answer. If it was just a town or two away, he could deal with that—seeing the boy every two weeks or so. He could work with that. But if it was a long way away, the boy would not be able to visit often. "How far?" The question burned, because Hikaru would never stop his student from growing, even if it killed him. Not Ko. The boy was too good, too amazing, for Hikaru to stop him. He needed to nourish the boy's talent, not impair it. But he didn't want to part from the boy, either.

The boy seemed nervous as he held his brush. Shakily, ever so hesitantly, he wrote, "about seven hundred kilometers. Just," pause, "seven," pause, "hun—" And he stopped. The boy's shoulders shook a bit and he looked up at his teacher.

Hikaru wasn't sure how to respond. "So I guess you won't be visiting every other week, then?" he laughed hollowly. The boy's shaking grew violent, and a few tears leaked from his eyes. The boy was mouthing something, probably trying to say _something_, but Hikaru had no idea unless the boy wrote. Ko frantically took the brush and in his haste, accidentally broke it in half. Without a sound.

And the boy, in his frustration, took both halves, and threw them against the wall. And then a man stormed in, slammed the door open noiselessly, and then started a silent verbal fight with the boy. The man was gesturing at the goban and arguing with Ko at the same time. It wasn't as energized as the arguments Hikaru's had always seen on the television—but it might have been because he did not hear a word of their argument. It cooled down quickly once the man saw Ko's tear-stained face, and the man quickly hugged the boy, muttering something. Probably apologies. Hikaru couldn't tell.

The realization hit him hard. He couldn't hear a thing. Not a single thing. He had lived in the goban for three years, and he never noticed that he heard not one bird sing, not one go stone land on the board before him? Had he never noticed the lack of sound when he saw the rain? He never noticed the silence as Ko's brush slid across cloth, across paper, thousands of times? Of course there was always light, and Ko would always look at Hikaru when he said anything...And he had imagined something was wrong with Ko! But no, the boy was more of a genius than Hikaru had ever thought! To think the boy had come up with a solution—lip-reading—before Hikaru even realized the problem!

The man, Hikaru figured it was Ko's father, the merchant, left. Alone with Ko, Hikaru finally asked, "Can you hear me?" Ko looked at him strangely—just as he had the first time Hikaru had tried talking to him. He shakily procured another brush from elsewhere in the room. "You know I can't." And that cinched it. Hikaru's only link to the physical world was his appearance.

Was he being punished? He had saved Sai from a horrible fate! He hadn't even committed any crime! His Sai had _killed himself_ and had been able to at least talk to his host and follow him around. Hikaru had been executed. Did that not have some merit? In the eyes of God, could that have possibly been worse than suicide? Maybe because he had messed with fate, maybe because Sai should have died, Hikaru was being punished. But nothing really made sense, and Hikaru felt the weight of his death fall more heavily upon him than ever.

And he knew he shouldn't have accepted the chance to reach the Hand of God anyway. He would never touch, never hear another go stone. Destiny was crap. "What was the argument about?" he asked about instead. There was no use dwelling on such morbid thoughts.

The boy cocked his head to the side. Quickly, he wrote, "First about the noise—then we were arguing about the goban," he looked up at Hikaru, "I told him I needed to take it with me if I was to go to Edo, but Father said it was too valuable, and I could only take it when I have proven myself to be worthy of such a good goban."

Hikaru did not even have to think before he had his answer. "Ko," Hikaru took a deep steadying breath, "Go to Edo." Hikaru knew he really wasn't meant for this world. It just wasn't right. The gods had thoroughly screwed him over, and all he wanted now was a nice peaceful existence away from everything. Away from _everything_.

"Are you sure?" Ko still seemed really nervous, not quite hysterical, but worried.

Hikaru nodded, unwavering. He would push Ko to go as far as the boy could, to reach all heights. This student—maybe he would be the one to reach the Hand of God, just as he had intended for Oka or Rui. Ko would be amazing, and if Hikaru was right, would be just as good, or maybe even better than Honinbo Shusaku. "When will you leave?" Hikaru made sure to pronounce his words very clearly to make reading his lips easier.

"Two months after your birthday."

"Such a long time from now! What were you crying about, geez!" Hikaru was relieved. Hikaru could never work well when people were crying. And he still had more than half a year with Ko; he would make it the best ever. Every moment, he would treasure, and every move he would analyze. He would never take Ko for granted as he had Sai. And he would teach the boy everything he knew, until he could teach no longer. Hikaru hoped he would never see that day.

"What are we waiting for? Let's play!" And obediently, Ko had a game set up. Such a good boy, really.

After Ko left, Hikaru had nothing to fill the void. He was worried about fading away, since he felt a certain tug every now and then. It didn't happen too often, at most twice a month, but it was enough to worry him. He wanted to be there for Ko, but he couldn't receive any letters from the boy, and no one knew of his existence except Ko himself. It felt like forever, but finally, the boy was back.

"KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hikaru shouted at the boy's arrival. He had settled his feelings about death and his complete intangibility, and only sought to show him how happy he was at Ko's return. "Ko! Ko! How are you? How many people did you beat? What level have they given you? 10 Kyu? No, way too easy, 5 kyu! 1 Kyu! Pro? Are you a pro?" He supposed he might have been talking too quickly, because all Ko did was laugh and pull out a fancy scroll. He revealed a dark, cherry wood red brush out and dipped it in an ink pot that had stayed untouched and unopened for nearly two years.

With quick and graceful strokes, he wrote: "Shodan!" He held out a victory hand sign and Hikaru could only dance around in sheer giddiness. Ko was a pro! A real live pro, at such a young age, too! How old was he, ten? Eleven?

Ko must have been really good by now, and Hikaru knew his level was much higher than a mere shodan. Hikaru sorely needed a game. Two years, he hadn't had a game! Two years! "Game! Let's play a game!"

At that, the boy's smile faltered. He pulled the brush across the paper with a graceful acuity that Hikaru had never before witnessed in him. "There is celebration to be had. I must celebrate with the town and the daimyo for my accomplishments. I came here to tell you the good news before telling everyone else. I'll be back tonight, though, and we can play as many games as you'd like!" The writing was elegant, and Ko wrote every word artistically like a seasoned painter, more advanced than any ten year old ought to have been. Although Hikaru felt the need to be selfish, he just smiled and encouraged the boy to have fun. After all, he did become a pro and an incredibly young age—he should be partying, not playing go games with a ghost in a secluded room. Sometimes Hikaru forgot that Ko was still just a kid.

Night seemed forever to come, but once it did, it was probably the best night of Hikaru's ghostly life. The play was excellent, much higher than the shodans in Hikaru's time. If he were honest, he would have to say that Ko's Go was at the level of a 3-dan, at the least, maybe even 5-dan—though that might have been pushing it. Ko's reading abilities had heightened even more, and when finally the boy grew too tired, Hikaru asked the question that had been stirring in his mind ever since he saw Ko return.

"When…when are you going back?"

Ko smiled kindly. He seemed happy, content. "I have one year here before I return to Edo," he wrote, once again using that graceful quickness.

Hikaru was satisfied with that. That was more time than he would have guessed, though it was less time than he would have wanted. He wanted to play against Ko until the end of their days, but keeping him in this little town would be a ridiculous waste of talent.

"But I still have much to teach you, and only a year to do so!" As if mocking his words, the year ended much too quickly for Hikaru.

Ko was there, standing before the goban. "I'll miss you, Ko." Hikaru decided to settle in for another two years. Maybe even more. But he would not make it harder for his student to leave him behind. Ko pulled out paper this time, white and slick, and dipped his fancy brush into the pot of ink he had always used.

"You're coming with me, Sensei."

Hikaru was shocked. What? What was this? "How? But your father, he said—"

Ko ignored him and continued writing, "I am a Shodan. I have proved my ability, my worth, and now the goban is mine. Shall forever be mine. And you, Sensei, you shall accompany and we shall play go until the very last star falls from the sky!"

Hikaru was shocked as he felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. The happiness, the sheer ecstasy he felt at those words—he would go with Ko! And Ko would never abandon him again! It was perfect, absolutely perfect, and Hikaru felt that this was possibly the best day of his ghostly life. It was much better than the Ko's first night back—he would have ages to play! And he would forever play Ko until they reached the Hand of God. It was nothing like having his rival Toya Akira, but he would reach it with someone.

"Thank you," Hikaru said. For now, that was enough.

* * *

Hikaru looked out from the carriage as Ko boarded. It was strange, because he had never ridden in one, even in the Heian Era. For some reason…the land looked familiar. "Ko," he said, but the boy was looking at the landscape as well. Hikaru tried tapping the boy's shoulder with his fan, but it had no effect. "Ko!" He moved so that he blocked the view of the land and glared at his student.

"Aah!" the boy yelled. Of course, Hikaru didn't hear him—he could easily tell that the boy had made a loud sound because the carriage stopped and a few men inspected the carriage. They spoke with Ko, and the boy looked embarrassed as he was brushing the incident off. This whole not hearing thing could quickly become a problem.

"Ko," Hikaru said, once he was sure he had the boy's attention. "What town are we in?"

The boy unsheathed some paper and quickly scrawled, "Innoshima," before turning away again in annoyance to watch the scenery.

Innoshima? This is where Shusaku lived! He should visit the man's grave. But if it was indeed the 18th century, Shusaku would not be born for more than thirty years. Maybe he could come back in thirty years, maybe he could see Sai! No wonder it was so familiar. Every natural landmark was the same, and even the rolling hills remained constant for millennia. "Honinbo…the Go Saint…" Hikaru muttered to himself. Apparently Ko had been watching him, and slowly, he wrote, "You mean Honinbo Dosaku?" Hikaru had to chuckle—of course, Shusaku wasn't born yet—and just nodded the affirmative to Ko's question.

The boy smiled and sat back. Hikaru sat beside him, and before he knew it, his student was soundly asleep. Days passed, and they played Go whenever they could, with Ko placing his moves for him. Many people just thought Ko was recreating the many games he had played at the capital, and stood in awe at the boy's ability to remember matches. Hikaru didn't blame them for thinking that—Ko probably could recreate all of his matches. He had the amazing memory to do so if he wished.

The capital was, of course, no longer in Kyoto. Hikaru didn't know why, but he had expected the Great Palace—the huge enclosure with buildings, and rooms, and the river right there…he didn't expect this. And it hurt all the more when he remembered that the Great Palace had burnt down completely.

They were at some kind of school, as far as Hikaru could tell. "Ko, wake up," Hikaru said. He knew the boy couldn't hear him, but he could hope. He tapped the boy with his fan, but still the boy wouldn't awake. The boy was completely unaware of his presence. He was reminded sharply of Sai's departure…and tried to ignore the oncoming flashback. So he sat back down and waited for someone else to awaken his student.

A man peeked into the carriage and quickly shook the boy awake. They had a quick conversation, during which Hikaru decided he needed to learn to lip-read, and they left. Ko held the goban tightly against his chest, allowing no one to take it from him. Hikaru felt a burst of pride and affection for his student. The boy really did care.

And Ko clutched the goban, never letting it leave his arms, until he reached his room. He flicked out some paper and wrote, "Now, decide: stay in here, in my quarters, where I can play you every night and every morning, or stay in the official Go-room, where you can watch games from morning to night."

Hikaru wondered why Ko thought it would be a hard choice. After all, he could still watch Ko play if he were in the official room…but then Hikaru wouldn't be able to play. Would he? "I would not be able to play while in the official Go room?"

Ko shook his head sadly. He picked up the brush again. "I can pretend I am recreating games, though some might notice that I am creating games that never existed. But I cannot write to you." It made sense. What would people think if Ko started writing to his Sensei, when all the players would be in the room? Yet Hikaru knew what he would do. If Ko spent all day playing games and had to come back only to play more games, wouldn't he grow tired? Hikaru had to think of the best solution, not just for himself, but for his student.

"The Go-room. I'll learn to read lips," Hikaru decided. Ko looked at him doubtfully and Hikaru glared. He could do it! He could learn anything! "It can't be too hard, since you learned."

Ko stuck his tongue out, and Hikaru was reminded that Ko was only twelve years old. Such a young talented child. Hikaru smiled to himself and informed him, "I was your age when I started playing." He had never revealed anything about his past to Ko; he had only dedicated himself to teaching and trying to reach the Divine Move.

And Ko seemed fascinated. He swiftly penned a response, "Really? You never talk about yourself."

Hikaru wondered. Did he really? Even Sai had told him about his death, about his reason. Had he never told Ko anything other than he wanted to play Go? He supposed he hadn't. But of course, his story would have a lot of words, and lip-reading could only do so much. Despite the setback, Hikaru thought of what he would say. "I lived in the Heian," Hikaru figured time-travel would seem too far-fetched to the young boy, "I was executed for impersonating someone of the Imperial Court."

Now Ko was looking at him with trepidation in his eyes. Hikaru thought of laughing but pushed it down. "A friend of mine asked me to stay and be him for a year while he traveled, looking for someone who could help him reach the Hand of God. I was uncovered, and executed before he could explain. But I seek the Hand of God as well, which is why I have not moved on. I need—I need it." Ko seemed saddened by the story and sought to hold his teacher's hand. Of course, neither could truly feel the touch, but seeing it and feeling his student's sympathy helped Hikaru let go of some of his sorrow.

Ko sighed and pulled his hand from Hikaru to start writing something. "So, the Go-room?" Hikaru nodded enthusiastically and grinned when Ko picked up the goban and walked as fast as decorum allowed him toward the room. Hikaru was amazed at the amount of gobans and players amassed in the room.

"So many, so many enthusiastic players!" Hikaru exclaimed. Of course, Ko wasn't looking at him, so he never saw Hikaru's immediate reaction. Ko gently placed the haunted goban in the middle of the room so that Hikaru could see every goban somewhat clearly.

"Thank you! You're great!" Hikaru shouted happily as he hugged the boy as tightly as possible. "This will be great!"

It was. For a while. For a long while. In two years, Hikaru had learned how to lip-read, and he continued to play Ko. His student was progressing nicely, and Hikaru could tell that the boy was much better than any of his peers. But there were always a few problems. Rather, one big problem that left Hikaru's mind whirling.

In the middle of a game between him and Ko, he felt more than saw a shadow move behind him. "Who the heck would play a game like that?" another student asked, or Hikaru thought he asked. He was older than Ko, probably in his early twenties, and seemed to have a higher dan rank. Ko was a 4-dan, but Hikaru wasn't sure how strong that was in this era. In his own life, a 4-dan rank would not have sufficed for him when he was fourteen

Both Ko and Hikaru looked down at the board in consternation. What was the other boy talking about? The boy was pointing to a stone. There? The star point? Hikaru asked Ko, and Ko in turn asked the other boy.

"Yeah! Who starts a game on a star point?" Had he been watching the entire game?

Ko shrugged. Hikaru had forgotten that it was practically forbidden to start on a star point…"Tell him it was just a mistake," Hikaru told Ko, and the boy relayed the message.

"It is interesting, though," an older man said, "The other player managed to keep ahead for the entire game. It is not a mistake, and it is not finished though, is it?" He looked to Ko. "Who won?" the man asked. Ko shrugged and tried not to break eye contact with him. Hikaru had seen the man plenty of times, but no one ever told him his name. He was very regal, and was probably in his late-twenties.

"But Shuwa-sensei!" Hikaru snapped his neck back to really pay attention to the boy who had just exclaimed. "Shuwa-sensei, no one plays that move!" Did he say Shuwa? Surely, it was a different Shuwa—not the one who hand-picked and mentored the 'famous Shusaku'.

He looked up at the man Shuwa…maybe he misread. Maybe he was..Zhuwa? Chuwa? Juwa? Hikaru wasn't always right when he lip-read, but the boy seemed to be pronouncing it consistently as "Shuwa." Anyway, the man knelt by the goban and looked each boy, the one who had interrupted and Ko. "It is unusual. It throws the opponent off. Whose game is this?" he asked.

Hikaru watched Ko try to come up with an explanation. He sat right across from Ko, making sure they had eye contact. "Tell him it is the game of an old deceased friend."

"It is an old game betwixt myself and my deceased teacher and friend," Ko said. The Honinbo seemed to deflate, more from relief than disappointment.

"Hm…but you did respond well in this game, child. Let us play," the older man said. It seemed the two knew each other. Of course, Hikaru had seen them playing often, but never had the man smiled warmly as he did now. "To think, you are now a 4-dan!" Shuwa smiled contentedly.

If this really was Shuwa...the one destined to become Honinbo…then he was the only man thought to be better than Shusaku—better than Sai! Hikaru immediately floated before Ko and begged, "Let me play him, please! Just once, only once!" Hikaru supposed his begging seemed to have worked, because Ko sighed and nodded.

But after the two performed nigiri and Ko won black, the boy didn't move anywhere near where Hikaru was pointing. "Ko? Ko, what are you doing? I thought you said—"

"Honinbo Shuwa-sensei," Ko started, looking not at the man, but slightly left to the man, straight at Hikaru. "This game—I intend to play with my full talent. Just me." Hikaru tried not to let the hurt look appear on his face.

"Of course," the older man said. "And I've been looking forward to a very serious game with you," he leaned forward and looked around to make sure no one was watching. The man smiled and whispered, "After all, I have already decided you shall be the next Honinbo."

* * *

I looked up the distance from Innoshima to Tokyo on google earth, and it's about 645.25 km going straight, and I figured people generally took winding passages to get from place to place, and it would be a longer route. So I'm pretty sure you guys know what's going on by now, but remember that Hikaru _doesn't_. It's like dramatic irony, if you will.


	5. He Needs Support and Love and Strength

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji (who you've seen) Matsuno who you'll see now.  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 5.** **He Needs Support and Love and Strength**

_"Of course," the older man said. "And I've been looking forward to a very serious game with you," he leaned forward and looked around to make sure no one was watching. The man smiled and whispered, "After all, I have decided you shall be the next Honinbo."_

The concept swirled in his mind. Ko? Honinbo? Hikaru had learned a lot about Go since he was twelve. Waya had always ensured that Hikaru would know just as much about Go history as he would about strategy. He knew the names of all the old title-holders, of the leaders of the Honinbo school and never had there been one who's first name was Ko. At least, none in this time period. And he knew the time period, since he had Honinbo Shuwa as reference. But Shuwa—Shuwa had been born in the early 1800s. Maybe this was a different Shuwa. Maybe, Ko could become Honinbo without screwing up the timeline that Hikaru used to know. The Shuwa he was thinking of was not _yet_ the head of the Honinbo; just lined up to become the head of the Honinbo house. Really, what right did that man have to call anyone Honinbo?

In this time period…Honinbo was not a title to be won. It was not some tournament, but the name of a family, the head of a house. Honinbo was the oldest of the four Go houses, and as far as Hikaru knew, by his time, it had been shut down and the name subsequently used for the yearly tournaments.

This man…Honinbo was his name, not a title. So Honinbo Shuwa…was considering Ko as the next Honinbo? What about Shusaku? What about Torajiro?

It was as if a bucket of cool water was splashed upon him as he realized that he had not seen another player as strong as Ko in the two years he had been at the Honinbo School. Shusaku should have been there. Understanding was harsh for Hikaru when he realized how much he had screwed with time. So…if Sai never committed suicide…then he never used Torajiro…and the world would never see the genius of Shusaku. Never see Sai's genius. The Heian people didn't keep good records of Go games, not like the people of the Edo time period. No one would ever see _Sai's_ genius. And that just screwed the history of Go completely!

He needed…he needed to find Torajiro! He needed to make sure that Torajiro would become Honinbo Shusaku. But that was impossible. No one could see Hikaru except for Ko. Ko. Oh Kami-sama, Ko.

Hikaru held his head in his hands as he thought of the treachery he would commit against his student. He hadn't even thought of Ko when he decided he needed Torajiro to be the next Honinbo. Would he take away such honor, such prestige from his own student? The boy he had been mentoring and cultivating for…for nine years? Even Sai had not stayed with Hikaru that long. Hikaru imagined the heartbreak he would have experienced if Sai ever betrayed him so thoroughly as he was thinking to do to Ko.

But…the future of Go.

Or Ko?

Go?

Ko?

Go.

...

But couldn't Ko be just as good as Shusaku? He was a genius in his own right, right? Ko's moves did look like Shusaku, since Hikaru, who learned from the spirit of Shusaku, had been his teacher. If anyone had to replace Shusaku, Hikaru was more than sure that Ko would be the one. The Go world would probably benefit from Ko's wisdom just as much as they would have from Shusaku.

Honinbo Ko. Ko Honinbo. Hikaru was almost giddy. Yes, this could work. Of course he felt sorry for Torajiro, but really, the boy had been nothing more than Sai's vehicle. At least this boy was genuine, a real genius!

Hikaru had been so entrenched in his thoughts that when he came back to his senses, he realized that the game between Shuwa and Ko was over.

"Thank you," they both said. Hikaru tried counting the territory; the shapes were very complicated. Shuwa smiled at the boy and bowed. Hikaru looked up to catch his parting words, "You shall be great. Everyone shall remember your name."

Ko blushed and thanked the man again. Hikaru remembered a similar promise to another great young player. Toya Kenji. Now that revelation had been unexpected. Had his name been remembered? Hikaru wondered if Akira would be a descendant of Kenji's. Would Toya's name live on? Hikaru didn't remember any famous Toyas from the Heian age, but records were inaccurately kept back then. At least Kenji's legacy would live on in Koyo and then in Akira and perhaps even in Aki and then in her children and on. Too bad he hadn't had the time to investigate...Hikaru sighed to himself and glanced over at his student. He was still miffed that he didn't get the chance to play _The Honinbo Shuwa_, but he was still happy that his student seemed satisfied.

"How was it?" Hikaru asked his student, hoping his mild resentment didn't leak into his expression.

The boy looked like he was in heaven. His eyes were sparkling something fierce and a hint of a smile was quirking at his lips. "That was…a great game." The boy looked straight at Hikaru and then looked down at the stones sitting lazily on the goban. "I would have liked to allow my teacher to play him. I guess I'm just…selfish." The people around them would wonder how his teacher could have played, but to Hikaru, it was a satisfactory apology.

Hikaru tapped the boy on the shoulder, hoping he would see the motion and look up. "Greater than our games?" Hikaru asked playfully. He looked down at the goban, the thing that Ko's mind was completely absorbed in, trying to figure out where Ko could have saved his stones. But it was strange, Hikaru thought, because he couldn't pinpoint any mistakes. In fact, the boy had made some particularly inspired moves, even playing like Hikaru—he'd laid a complex trap that started, and continued, by placing moves that seemed like mistakes. But they were amazing, and Hikaru felt regret at not paying attention to the game.

Ko shook his head with a smile. "I never win against my teacher—our games are always enlightening. I was really nervous against Shuwa, even though my teacher always tells me to relax. Even so, this was still an amazing experience, since it was an unfamiliar style, and I was almost able to beat Honinbo Shuwa-sensei."

What?!

Even Shusaku had never reportedly evenly beat Honinbo Shuwa, and that was in the course of his entire Go career! Hikaru quickly turned his eyes back to the board and saw that Ko had played beautifully, amazingly…and had almost, _almost_ beat the famous Honinbo Shuwa. He lost by one moku, just one, but the boy had been playing white. He smiled to himself. Although he would keep Torajiro in memory, he had to admit that his student was much better.

He could allow himself a bit of arrogance, right?

* * *

Hikaru was lazing around when he spotted a long-haired boy approaching Ko. It wasn't really as long as these other older men, but the people in his home time would have rebuked the kid for such long hair. There were few men who grew out their hair these days; only the very old, very traditional men let their hair grow and not tie it up. But…what was this? Hikaru leaned forward and hovered before this newcomer.

A girl? Girls weren't allowed in the Honinbo school…at least, that was what Hikaru thought. He had never seen many girls, only wives and daughters and sisters. She was pretty, nothing at all like a boy. Hikaru wasn't sure why he mistook her for one. Hikaru watched her lips eagerly as she spoke enthusiastically and quickly, "Tora-kun!" Hikaru looked around for anyone named Tora, but he knew no one in the entire school named such. "Hello! I heard you played Shuwa-sensei a few days ago!" she exclaimed.

Hikaru looked back at his student and…he was blushing? "I- that is, Todani-san, yes, I did," Ko said. Why hadn't Hikaru heard of this girl? Todani? Hikaru couldn't remember anyone named Todani.

His head snapped back to look at the girl. "Recreate it for me? Please?"

"Of course, Todani-san." Why Ko was calling her Todani-san, Hikaru didn't know. And why she was calling him Tora-kun, Hikaru didn't know either. The girl seemed like she wanted to be familiar with him, and Ko…well frankly, it seemed Ko, ever the shy and respectful one, had a crush on her. His hand shook a bit, and he kept glancing between her rapt face and the goban. Well, he always seemed nervous when he was around other people in the school. So Hikaru sat back and watched their interaction more than he watched the game. She was flirting with him, but not too obviously. Hikaru rolled his eyes. She couldn't be that subtle and still expect Ko to catch on.

Hikaru decided to help his student. He hovered above the goban and locked eyes with his student. "She likes you," he said. He knew Ko had no way to respond, but the boy did sputter in an unseemly manner. "Ask her out," he added, sticking his pinky out with a wink.

Ko looked resolved to ignore him, so Hikaru turned around to see the girl's reaction to the boy's fluster. She looked nervous, and she had red spots on her cheeks. So she_ really_ liked him…

She left at some point after congratulating Ko for the amazing game. Hikaru floated into Ko's line of sight. "Why didn't you ask her out?"

The boy blushed a bit more, and responded, "It's complicated." Hikaru shrugged. He knew the boy couldn't explain, not in this room full of gobans and students. So it surprised him when he felt a pull and realized that Ko was leaving the room, ancient goban in hand. "Wait! Ko!"

They turned down hallways and rooms and finally reached Ko's room. The boy had his own room, a very Spartan room with merely a futon, a lamp, and some papers. Ko pulled his brush out, and Hikaru realized just how mature his student had become. The written characters were elegant, so elegant, and each stroke flowed into the next. It looked like the paradigm of calligraphy. But Hikaru didn't have much time to dwell on the beauty of the script. He read, "That was the current Honinbo Jowa's daughter, Todani Matsuno. I've been…meeting her as a friend for a while. Honinbo Jowa is also the Meijin, but received the title through unsavory means. People are already calling him a Go Saint because of his abilities. I am a rising star, and most have noticed me, and I cannot help but think that maybe she does not like _me_, but that she likes the prestige I can restore to her family."

Hikaru was taken aback. He never had to worry about that kind of thing in his time. For instance, Akira and Akari. They had hooked up brilliantly with no problems. None whatsoever. No ever questioned why the successful professional Go player would marry a strange woman who had no money of her own. When they had gotten married, Akari was still in college. And still, no one questioned it. But here…"Aren't you marring her character for assuming such a thing?" Hikaru asked.

Ko frowned. His brush was uncertain, but still painted sophisticatedly. "Anyone in my position must be careful, Sensei. I have only been here a short while, and I have seen how manipulative Honinbo Jowa can be."

So Ko really was inadvertently garnering attention. Hikaru wasn't sure what to say. Ko obviously liked the girl, and actually held the fear that she only wanted him for his name. Hikaru would just have to find out the truth.

And find out, he did. Hikaru didn't feel bad at all for spying. After all, he wasn't sneaking around or anything. He was just sitting there. He watched the girl's mouth as she conversed with another girl. Hikaru had already determined that neither attended the school; they were there because of their fathers or brothers. They were playing a game for fun, but it was probably at a 4 kyu level.

"So, have you asked him?" the other girl asked. The perfect conversation!

Matsuno blushed. "I do not think he likes me," she said, looking uneasy. Silly girl! He's in love with you! Hikaru was starting to feel frustration with these ridiculous teenagers and their shared lack of self-esteem.

"Oh. But he blushes and stutters whenever you are around," the other girl reasoned and placed a stone in a very thoughtless place. It didn't help spread her influence around the board and didn't strengthen other stones. In fact, it looked like it opened her to more attacks.

Matsuno lowered her head, and Hikaru had to readjust his position to read her lips. "Tora-kun is a very good actor. And I think—I do not want to think like this, but—the only reason he is acting may be because my father is Honinbo Jowa. After all, he already has Shuwa-sensei enamored with him. Having my father too…Tora-kun would most certainly become the next Honinbo after Shuwa-sensei." Matsuno expertly placed down a stone, purposefully blocking anything the other girl could try in that corner. Hikaru was ready to pull his hair out. Ko didn't need Jowa's approval!

The other girl looked frustrated. "Matsuno-chan, there's no way you can know whether he really likes you or not. How could he not love you? You are the only girl who understands him!"

Matsuno looked to her friend uncertainly. "Do you truly think so?" she asked, probably thinking of a way to confess to Ko, or Tora, as she was calling him.

Her friend nodded vigorously. "Of course! You're amazing!" she even glanced down at the board for a second, "And I resign. Good game, Matsuno-chan."

"Thank you," Matsuno replied. And Hikaru had his answer. Matsuno and Ko…they would make a very good couple, Hikaru thought, even though they were just in their early teens. In this era, nobody really considered the thought 'too young for marriage.'

So Hikaru floated back to his goban which was never far away and caught Ko's attention. "She likes you. A lot. Just ask her out." Ko looked confused, and after a moment shook his head regretfully. "I cannot." And that was the end, since the boy sighed and left. Hikaru didn't know why Ko was so reluctant. Were the politics really so complicated? It seemed simple to Hikaru. Ko liked Matsuno, and Matsuno liked Ko. Who cared if her father was Honinbo Jowa?

Apparently, someone did.

"Ko, what happened to your face?" Hikaru shouted when he saw his student two days later. Miserably, the boy mouthed, "Not right now." Hikaru spent the entire day trying to find out, from Ko and the rest of the players in the huge room, how Ko received a black eye. Many people asked when they approached Ko for a game, but the boy just made up thin, ridiculous excuses, like "I bumped into the wall," or "I tripped and my face hit my goban." Hikaru thought he would have been better off saying aliens did it.

Few people believed Ko's excuses, but he still told no one. Hikaru only learned the origin of the black eye when Ko and Matsuno were playing a casual teaching game. "Tora-kun, I'm so sorry," she seemed to whisper as she put down a stone. Hikaru couldn't tell how loud or soft a person's voice was, but judging from her throat—whence the vibrations came—her voice had been quite soft.

Ko put her stones in double atari. "Not your fault, Matsuno-chan," Ko responded with a thin smile. 'Chan'? Ko was calling her Matsuno-chan? But—then—

Matsuno's breath hitched and she said sadly, "Of course it is. I shouldn't be calling you Tora-kun outside of the school. You knew something like this would happen, and I'm so sorry!" All this she said with a pained expression on her face and tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. How had Hikaru missed this?

"Did you punch me?" Ko asked with a chuckle. He motioned for her to place a stone anywhere on the board. His face was kind, as always, and held forgiveness. Matsuno shook her head and solved the complex problem Ko had set up for her. Ko smiled at her quick thinking. "It's not your fault. It is equally my fault for even meeting with you when your—betrothed—could have been around." Her betrothed? Her betrothed! This complicated matters quite a bit more than Hikaru expected.

"He is _not_ 'my betrothed,'" she said with disgust, "I have told him time and again that I do not belong to him. Father has even considered not allowing him or his family near the school."

"That shall only spread rumors of my cowardice," Ko said, a bitter look upon his face. He almost slammed another stone down, but was able to control himself enough to place the stone softly, creating another elaborate problem for her to solve. "But…I hope Honinbo Jowa shall not be against our courtship. I mean, a random Go professional and his only daughter…"

Matsuno giggled, and captured a few stones. "What are you talking about? Father _loves _you. By and by he shall eagerly take you as his son." Ko blushed and captured a stone, continuing the problem. Matsuno refrained from saying anything and quickly solved the problem put before her.

"You are improving, Matsuno-chan. You could probably beat a 2-dan!" Ko said encouragingly. The game seemed to be over, and they didn't bother counting the stones since it had only been a teaching game.

Matsuno smiled, but resentfully said, "Too bad I was not born a man. If I had been, I could join the Honinbo school and become a professional."

Ko looked uncomfortable. "I think I would rather the school start allowing women, than you be born a man. What would become of this relationship then?" He smiled a winning smile and Matsuno smiled as well.

"You are probably the only boy in this school who would even consider allowing a woman into this institution. But I suppose that is why I like you." She smiled and helped him clear the stones.

"Is that the only reason?" He playfully said.

Matsuno mockingly rolled her eyes. "I guess," she teased. Their relationship seemed genuinely perfect. Hikaru could not think of pair as suited for each other, except for maybe Akira and Akari.

"You two are so cute together!" he promptly told Ko once Matsuno had left. The boy sputtered and blushed; apparently he forgot that he teacher had been hovering there throughout the entire game. "I suppose," he muttered, growing redder every second. Hikaru laughed. Indeed, Ko and Matsuno were meant to be.

But something was niggling at the back of his mind. Something about Jowa's daughter. Hikaru was sure he had read something about her. Something about her…and Shusaku…and aw. Crap. Hadn't Shusaku and Jowa's daughter married? Not only was Ko taking Shusaku's position, but also his wife? Of course, she wasn't exactly his wife in this timeline, universe, whatever this was, since he probably did not even play Go this time around. Hikaru clenched his head. He didn't want to go against Shusaku's memory, but—but—his loyalty was to Ko, not a strange boy he would never meet. Once again, Hikaru had to side with his student against his mentor's memory. In this—dimension? Universe? Timeline?—Sai never helped Torajiro become the famous Go Saint Shusaku. So _technically_ he wasn't going against his mentor's memory.

Matsuno was still sitting before the goban, not making a move toward another game. "Tora-kun—"

"You still calling him Tora-kun?" It was the same annoying boy from before the game against Honinbo Shuwa. He sneered at the two. "You know Shuwa-sensei gave him a new name. I'd expect you lovebirds would tell each other everything."

Ko grew incensed and abruptly stood. "Just go away, will you? I like it when she calls me Tora-kun!"

"That's an insult to Shuwa-sensei. To think, he gave you such an esteemed name, and you don't even want to use it!" the boy sniffed arrogantly and stalked off.

"That man—ooh, he just gets me so mad!" Matsuno growled. Ko just laughed and sat back down. "Don't worry about it. He's just jealous of Shuwa-sensei's attention on me. Anyway, I'm sure his interest will wear away sometime. I am not as amazing as he thinks. After all, I am eons away from the Hand of God…"

Matsuno leaned back on her elbows and looked to the ceiling. It seemed they were only talking now. "The Hand of God…Father is also chasing it. But do you have any idea what it is?"

Ko shrugged. "My teacher seeks it as well. He is the one who told me of its existence."

"He's alive?" Matsuno asked, surprised. "Whenever you talk about him, it sounds like he died."

"What? Of course he's around!" Hikaru could have smacked himself. Ko was not very good at keeping his lies consistent.

"Well, you say he cannot play Go anymore. You say he watches over you. You say you are playing for him. And you talk to him sometimes, like you are praying, I am sure of it! You mumble to yourself, and say, 'Sensei, is this a good move?' And I know there are no teachers around. It's as if you are speaking to a spirit." Hikaru hovered in front of her. Did Ko really say all that? Was this girl telling the truth? He turned around to see Ko's answer. Matsuno was frighteningly close to the truth.

The boy was looking down, probably mumbling, but Hikaru was able to read his lips well enough. "It feels like he's around. He's really…back home. He's really sick, and cannot play without someone placing the stones for him. That is why I left for a year after I became a shodan."

Matsuno nodded solemnly and a bit guiltily. After all, she had just gone crazy at him with that tirade. "I—I shall pray for your teacher's recovery. He must be a very good player to have taught you."

Ko laughed. "Yes! I imagine he could beat Shuwa-sensei _and_ Honinbo Jowa at the same time!" The girl looked a bit offended but let it pass since their conversation seemed to be turning away from the melancholy. But she did have to defend her father. "Perhaps Shuwa-sensei, but my father is the best Go player around!"

Ko scoffed playfully and glanced at Hikaru who had a single raised eyebrow. "If only…if only they could play each other." He shook his head as if to get rid of the idea. "But that could never happen." Matsuno looked like she wanted to pursue that thought but instead started performing nigiri.

"Let us play another game, yes? This time, not shidougo."

"How many stones do you want?" Ko asked the necessary question.

Matsuno smirked and playfully said, "How many do _you _want?"

"Do you think I would be able to win with eight?" he imitated a disbelieving amateur.

In a haughty voice, she replied, "I am not sure. We both know how much better at Go I am than you are." And the bantering continued. Hikaru could only smile. This era was good. No tragedy seemed to befall him here, not like in his time or in Sai's. This was peaceful and Go-oriented. It was amazing.

* * *

Thanks to all reviewers: Barranca, xX-WaterLilly-Xx, Lal Mirch, Giselle Bourignon, and Hisshou.


	6. Whilst Truth Win Out to Show Its Length

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for the OCs whom you've already seen. No new people.  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

by The Honorable Arik Novak

* * *

**Ch 6: Whilst Truth Win Out to Show Its Length**

It all came crashing down on him in one swift blow. Really, Hikaru wasn't sure how he had missed it before, not when it was so obvious. It was probably when Ko—not Ko—wrote his name down on paper for the second time. How had he missed it? How had he been so stupid?

It was simple, as simple as the dare between him and Toya Akira. It seemed the biggest events in his life would have insignificant causes.

He remembered the conversation that led to his revelation, the seemingly innocent question… "So, Matsuno?" Hikaru mouthed with a smirk. Ko nodded enthusiastically and procured a piece of paper and his brush.

"And I've decided that one day I'll marry Jowa-san. I've already told her," he wrote. Ko had taken to calling her Jowa-san instead of Matsuno to drive attention away from their relationship. They had cemented their relationship and Ko, even though he thought he had no credentials, was about ready to ask Honinbo Jowa for Matsuno's hand. Hikaru wasn't quite sure why Ko was calling her Jowa rather than Todani, but he assumed it was because referring to her by her father's changed name would seem to distance him even further from her. He was cautious, even on paper, just to make sure that he would never slip up.

Hikaru laughed. "One day? Why not now?" It was obvious the two were in love. Of course, it could just be the fleeting teenage love, but Hikaru could see something deeper. They were perfect for each other.

Ko blushed and shook his head. "I need to accomplish something, anything. I've only just become a professional. That doesn't make me equal to or better than her in social standing. I need to become an heir, or win a few titles before I can ask her father for her hand."

Hikaru had forgotten about socio-economic problems when it came to matters of the heart. He himself had always been a very impulsive man, unthinking of consequences. "Hm. In time, then. What will be her name? I've completely forgotten your last name--Kurabara Matsuno?"

"Kuwahara Matsuno," he corrected swiftly. "Then our son can be named Ko, just like you have named me."

"Named?" Hikaru wondered. What was the boy talking about? When did he ever name him? Ko spelled out his full name in flourishing kanji. "Kuwahara Kojiro," Hikaru read to himself.

"He can have the first part of her name and the last kanji of mine, like Matsuro. Or the first kanji of mine and the last of hers! Torano," he wrote in kanji and then the same word in hiragana. "A girl's name in hiragana looks better than kanji. But that sounds strange. Torano." He wrote again in both kanji and hiragana, in a more flourishing script. "No, maybe Hikaru. Like Shimamura-sensei. Only if it's a girl." His script was fast and energetic and excited. A bright smile adorned the young man's face, but Hikaru could only feel horror.

The first kanji of his name was supposed to be pronounced "Tora"? Everybody—for the past three years had been calling him "Tora"...So then the kanji wasn't pronounced "Ko," but "Tora," which meant that his name wasn't _**Ko**_jiro, it was—

It couldn't be! But it was. This boy was Shusaku, wasn't he? Was it so surprising that in Sai's absence, Hikaru had found his student and nourished his genius? So then Ko was Kuwahara Torajiro who was Shusaku…and, and Shusaku didn't really need Sai to place his moves for him, did he? He really was a prodigy! Shock and surprise suffused through him and Hikaru wasn't sure how to feel.

"Torajiro…" he spoke for the first time. And sounds came rushing at him.

"Sensei—" and he could hear that. He could hear the words coming from the boy's mouth, and he could match the sound to the boy's lips, and it was amazing, and Hikaru was stunned, and everything was just impossible!

"Sensei, why are you calling me by my full name? I've grown accustomed to your nickname for me." His voice was deeper than Hikaru imagined, and the boy had obviously become a man at some point. It held such a melodious timbre that Hikaru wasn't convinced that this couldn't possibly be the mild child who had stumbled upon his goban years ago.

Hikaru was dumbfounded. Somehow, he found his voice and quietly said, "I can hear you, and you, you are…Shusaku. You are _the _Kuwahara Torajiro!"

"You've known me since I was a child, Sensei," the boy said, confused.

"Oh, Ko! You don't even realize how amazing you'll be!" Hikaru crowed, floating around the room at his newfound freedom. He still couldn't venture too far from the Goban, but he knew who his student was, and he knew the amazing history he would make!

"I can't tell what you're saying when you're not facing me, Sensei," the boy said in an annoyed tone, probably saying so more to himself than to Hikaru. But Hikaru still couldn't be heard? What kind of freedom was this? Nevertheless, Hikaru would enjoy his ability to hear. This abrupt gift, of hearing everything all at once, was overwhelming in its utter awesomeness.

Hikaru turned around and grinned at his student. Slowly, his smile faltered. If this teenager was Shusaku…didn't Shusaku die at a young age? Hikaru had to warn him! To tell him not to help his students when they all caught cholera—but Ko wasn't that type of person. If anything, Ko was self-sacrificing, and no amount of dissuasion would stop him from helping if he knew it would do some good.

"Oh Ko," he said again, but with misery in his heart. Ko would die. At the age of thirty-three. At the tender age of thirty-three…younger than Toya Koyo, younger than even Ogata or anyone he had known in his own time apart from Akira. And another of his friends would die. "Ko—" his heart was breaking at the thought of the future. But he still had years—plenty of years! And he would make the most of it.

He tried…he could at least say he tried.

* * *

He felt funny one day. He wasn't sure how he would describe it. He was lying on the ground watching a goban from a lackadaisical position when he felt a tug toward his own goban. He jerked a bit, and Ko—Torajiro—Ko glanced at him. Hikaru waved his concern away and ventured back to his own goban to see if it would relieve the pressure. It did, for a while. Hikaru wondered what could have caused it. Surely it couldn't be time to go yet…right?

A week later, he felt it again, but it was stronger. Hikaru grew fearful. This had never happened before. Is this what happened to Sai? But Sai hadn't left Torajiro until the boy died, right? Right? Did Hikaru remember Sai telling him that he stayed until Torajiro died?

"Torajiro—let's play a game, please?" Hikaru was worried. He didn't have the fading feeling he thought he would have, as Sai had seemed to have. He felt just a tug toward the goban every now and then. He needed a game, he needed to have more memories with Ko.

"The castle games are coming up, no?" Ko asked his new opponent but glanced at his teacher severely.

"They sure are. Will you be playing?" the other boy asked curiously.

"I hope to, but I cannot do well unless I practice here, and replaying games will only make the teachers worry about me more!" This time, he didn't bother to look at Hikaru. It was obvious that this was directed toward him. Was Hikaru being punished for his treatment of Sai in his first 'life'? Even though he regretted it every day, every second, would Kami-sama never forgive him? Would his mistakes haunt him as Sai had haunted his goban?

"Indeed, I know Shuwa-sensei has wondered why you replay so many games of which he has neither seen nor heard. It makes him suspicious that there is a better player out there! But he need not worry because the castle games will be coming up soon! All the best will be there," his opponent laughed.

The castle games. The famous games that added immensely to Shusaku's fame. The history books lauded Shusaku's games; he had played flawlessly and came out of the games undefeated. He would forever be remembered as the Invincible Shusaku, just from the collections of those games…Hikaru couldn't mess with history more than he had to…but he really wanted to play a game. Playing a few games with Hikaru wouldn't hurt Torajiro's chances of winning undefeated. It had been so long since the boy started practicing against his peers and other teachers instead of Hikaru.

People had started to trickle away from the room and night had almost fallen. It was empty save Ko and a few others. The games had all mostly finished, and Hikaru was still thinking about the castle games. "I think I would like a game with you, Shuwa-sensei," Ko muttered, and Hikaru heard it perfectly. He was here? Shuwa was here?

He floated before his student and saw his apologetic face. The boy was smiling at Hikaru, silently willing him to play the best Go he could. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you!" he laughed and hugged the boy tightly. He would play Shuwa! He would play the legendary Honinbo Shuwa!

Surely enough, Ko had another game arranged. He was black and his teacher white, as always. Hikaru guided the moves, ecstatic at his chance to play Shuwa. They started off peacefully enough, but they started getting into a few fights toward the bottom left of the board.

"Y-You have improved immensely, child," the man said proudly. "Your moves have much more insight than the moves from our last game."

Ko looked dissatisfied. Hikaru could understand—even when he had been playing for Sai, he'd been fed up with being acknowledged for someone else's genius.

Eventually, Shuwa had five white stones lined up vertically with another white stone at a three point jump from the second highest. Hikaru had three black stones, two of which were lined up against the second highest and another at the second lowest. Other stones were scattered about, but Hikaru was focusing on this one area. Now, where would he go? Where would he—there!

Hikaru unsheathed the fan he had kept hidden for centuries and pointed at the 1-8 point, to the left of the lone white stone, so that it was between the edge and the white.

"That move!" the older man exclaimed. He hesitantly placed a white stone to the upper right diagonal of the original white stone and waited for the boy's response.

Ko confidently placed another stone where Hikaru pointed and the older man took a deep shuddering breath. "We have not even made it to yose, and I fear you have surpassed me." He sighed and placed a stone in an illogical place. Hikaru tried to understand the meaning behind the move, but it really did nothing. It didn't expand territory or protect territory. It didn't threaten, it just sat there. But Ko seemed to understand, "I see," he told the man.

"So? Place your stone, then, _Honinbo Shusaku_," he whispered sarcastically, hissing, in particular, the boy's future name. Ko glanced up at Hikaru with eyes more apologetic than ever and then, ashamed, looked down at his hands.

"I resign."

What? What! What was this!

"That was a very good game, child." The man was sweating. "And one day, you will surpass me and become Honinbo. But remember—you cannot beat me until then!" It was a warning, a threat. That move—it had a purpose—and it was a threat. Would a teacher really do that to his student? Threaten him to lose a game else lose everything he had earned? It was blasphemy! It tarnished the soul of Go!

Hikaru ranted and raved all the way back to Ko's room as the boy lugged the goban into it. He carelessly tossed it into a corner, a feat not easily accomplished because of its weight, and pulled the covers over his head. Hikaru could see him curled into a little ball and he realized that the resignation had been hard on the boy as well. "Torajiro? Torajiro, please, I understand."

Ko was still under his covers, but he seemed to have sensed that Hikaru tried to say something. "I know what you're thinking! It was dishonorable of me to throw a game. A horrible thing to do, especially since it wasn't my game to throw! But—sensei, you must understand! I can't just throw away years of hard work, on your part and mine, to win one game. If he wanted, Shuwa could destroy me!" the boy held back a choked sob. He threw the covers off and Hikaru saw that he had glistening streaks, tears, running from his eyes to his jaw. Hikaru couldn't stay mad. Really, what would he have wanted his student to do? Hikaru should have just stepped back and let the boy play, let the boy lose or win for real. But Hikaru hadn't noticed the silent exchange, and Ko had just wanted to end it. Ko could never continue a game; he could never finish a game that someone else started. Was it fair, though, for him to end it instead?

"I don't approve of your methods, but I understand why you did it," Hikaru said, floating right in front of his student's eyes. Ko needed to know what was on his mind. "I had a teacher, much like you have me. He could not play, and I was his hand to play Go. But I grew selfish, and I never let him play after I had learned. Eventually, I stopped playing him and only concentrated on my own rivals. He grew desolate and left me. Left the world," he paused and leant back, knowing he had the boy's full attention. The boy looked worried that Hikaru would abandon him, but that wasn't the point he was trying to make.

He took a deep breath and continued, "Know this, Ko, know that you are a much better student than I ever was. I was stubborn and headstrong, where you have been perseverant and attentive. Know that should I ever leave you, it will be because I was taken, not because I willfully left. Know that you have been the best student I could ever want, and know that you will become great. You will be remembered for all time as the greatest Go player—greater even than Shuwa or maybe even Dosaku. Know I will always be proud of you." This was the chance Hikaru had been waiting for—to finally tell Torajiro that he could not stay forever. In the great scheme of things, Hikaru knew that winning one lousy game against one arrogant man would be nothing compared to the heartache he would cause Ko if he thought Hikaru left him because he resigned that lousy game.

In a scratchy voice, the boy asked, "Why are you telling me this now? You should be angry, you should be mad at _me_! You should_ hate_ me!"

Hikaru shook his head. He couldn't ever imagine hating his young student. "Like I said, I disapprove of the way you went about it, but I cannot fault you completely when the system itself has its flaws. I hope you will never have to do such a thing again. But I could never hate you." Hikaru smiled gently and laid a fleeting kiss upon the boy's forehead. "You are like my son, really. And I do love you as a son." Hikaru realized it was true, and it hurt. The future did not seem friendly to this young man.

"S-Sensei," the boy stuttered. Hikaru hugged him and told him to sleep. It had grown late, and the castle games would be upon them soon enough. "Sensei, promise you'll stay with me forever?"

"Torajiro, I cannot promise you that. But I can promise that I will stay as long as you live." That was the most he could promise, and he didn't even know if that was possible. Sai had seen Shusaku die, if Hikaru remembered correctly. He didn't want to think of such an ending, but he knew he could do nothing to change that.

"G'night, then."

Hikaru smiled. "Good night."

Ko was asleep soon enough, and Hikaru had time to really think about the situation. So what was his purpose here? Torajiro did not need Hikaru to play Go. The Go that the boy played was purely his own, and it was amazing. Ko did not need him. Hikaru wondered why he was even here. Wasn't his purpose to play the Hand of God? Wasn't it his destiny? He had years until Torajiro would turn thirty-three; he had years until he would be separated from the wonderful boy. But then, what was this pulling sensation Hikaru had started to feel? He glanced at the goban, and the tear stains didn't look any different from the last time he had seen it, nor the time before that. He had seen the goban every single day, so if the stains had started to fade, he would not notice the difference. Were they fading? He hoped not.

"Torajiro…Ko, before I leave, I want to see an amazing game between you and Shuwa. Someday, beat him for me, and do not let him bully you into resigning if you are winning." But Torajiro wasn't looking, and Hikaru was talking to a sleeping boy. "We'll always have tomorrow."

* * *

"Are you going back to Innoshima anytime soon, Tora-kun?" Matsuno asked.

"I really do not plan on it. I intend to stay in the capital until I can no longer play go. So you're not getting rid of me just yet!" he laughed. Matsuno smiled and leaned on him. "That's nice." She seemed tired.

Hikaru wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he knew his time was slipping away. He knew time would be up very, very soon. He wasn't sure whether he should tell Torajiro or not—would it make the boy more depressed, or would the preparation be better for all involved? He couldn't just let Torajiro experience the despondency he had felt when Sai left; it would be too cruel. He would tell him.

Ko was leaning against the wall, having no intention of playing or working at all. Matsuno was beside him with her head lightly resting on his shoulder as she, snoring lightly, took a nap. They had always seemed like close friends, so hopefully onlookers would only see a strong friendship.

Hikaru figured Torajiro wasn't very busy, and he tapped his fan on the boy's head. "Hm?" the kid asked.

"Torajiro, I feel I am fading away, and I will disappear soon." Isn't that how Sai had told him?

"What?" Ko asked, not fully understanding. "You can't leave, Sensei!" he shout-whispered.

Hikaru slowly shook his head. "I am sorry. We must make the most of the time we have left. I only ask one thing. Ask Shuwa for a game."

Torajiro looked uncomfortable but hesitantly nodded anyway. He always put his utmost faith in his teacher, never questioning Hikaru's judgment. Hikaru supposed it sounded like a personality fault, but he always thought it was just confidence in the people he trusted. He thanked the boy and left to hover elsewhere. He didn't want to take time away from the lovebirds.

This time, Hikaru wouldn't let Torajiro resign unless all avenues were blocked. There would be no playing into Shuwa's hand. Jowa was always known to be the corrupt one, but Shuwa? Hikaru had respected Shuwa as Shusaku's only equal, maybe even his better. But Hikaru knew that Ko was much better, that Shusaku had the talent. Hikaru just needed him to realize it.

"How is it going with Jowa?" Hikaru suddenly remembered. He hadn't been there when Torajiro had asked the older man for Matsuno's hand. Hikaru was sincerely worried about it. If Anything had been decided, it could cause problems for Torajiro.

Ko smiled and rested his head upon Matsuno's. "He said yes. He had only one condition. We cannot announce it until after the castle games since I've no standing apart from being a professional—even though he has officially said yes. I have yet to tell Ma—Jowa-san, though. She'll be ecstatic once I do."

Hikaru agreed. The girl was so in love with him, it was ridiculous. It felt like seeing a drama play out, one of those shows that Akari used to watch—except that this was real and it would last for the rest of their lives, as far as Hikaru knew. Ko…wouldn't have any children, if Hikaru remembered correctly. The only thing that would live on would be Torajiro's games, his Go.

"When you nodded, were you serious about challenging Shuwa?" Hikaru asked. He had a revelation.

Ko nodded again but looked at Hikaru with confused eyes. "I—I want to, but as long as I have no titles, Shuwa can do whatever he likes. He could end everything. Which is why the castle games are so important." Would Hikaru last past the castle games? Or would he disappear before then?

"I was thinking, with your marriage to Jowa's daughter, you would be his heir, right? So—"

"I will not use Matsuno to further my standing," Ko decisively stated. He probably would have stood up in indignation had his fiancée not been using his shoulder as a pillow. More subdued, he continued with fervor, "She will be my wife, my lover, the mother of my children, but she will never be a weapon or a pawn." Torajiro was not a person to become aggressive or riled up, but suddenly, it was as if he were baring his fangs at Hikaru.

Hikaru quickly shook his head. "Not like that! Just—don't ask me how I know, but I know you'll win the castle games undefeated, alright?" Hikaru would always cherish the sight of Ko's mouth wide open in befuddlement and amazement and self-doubt. "I'm a ghost from the future, I know these things, and I'm telling you even though it's probably against some kind of cosmic rule."

Torajiro's doubtful face still held some uncertainty, but he seemed more open to the idea. Hikaru continued, lost in his own thoughts, "You will earn a great name for yourself without Jowa's help. Because of his status, Shuwa will most definitely be the first to hear of your engagement, way before you intend to make it known to everyone. Shuwa's not stupid. He knows he cannot take you down once people know of your connection to Jowa, because if he does, others will see the connection and realize that he only ruined you because he felt threatened. If he wants to destroy your reputation as a Go player, he must do so before anyone else knows of your engagement."

"I could—could just ask Jowa to do something about Shuwa. Because I couldn't ask to marry Matsuno without any credentials…"

Hikaru shook his head. "Jowa has already stepped on powerful people's feet. Even though he might love his daughter, I doubt he would risk his standing in the Go world to save her boyfriend."

"Fiancée," Torajiro corrected absentmindedly. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Ko seemed to understand the gravity of the situation. "So Shuwa will try to obliterate me once he hears of it," he almost groaned. With sudden determination, he declared, "I need to strike first, since he will definitely strike before the castle games start."

Hikaru nodded. As much as he didn't want Torajiro to involve himself in such political intrigue, neither he nor Torajiro had a choice.

"That is why you must challenge him before he discovers your connection to Jowa. You must challenge him in broad daylight. He cannot force a false resignation from you if everyone is watching. And if you beat him, he has no authority to say you are anything less than a magnificent player and he cannot destroy you."

"If I beat him."

* * *

"Shuwa-sensei, another game?" Torajiro finally mustered enough courage to ask the man again. Although they had discussed their options extensively, the boy still doubted that he could beat Shuwa. Ko looked uneasy but confident that he would not quit.

"Yes, Shuwa-sensei! After all, you did complain earlier that you had no one to play!" someone said. Shuwa merely nodded nervously. It was daylight. People would see if Torajiro suddenly decided to resign when there was no reason for it. Shuwa could not free himself of his predicament. Hikaru thought the situation was perfect.

So the board was set up and Shusaku, as always, took black. It was customary for Shusaku and Shuwa that the younger boy would take black just in case he won. Just in case, so that Shuwa could save face should he lose. Hikaru was ready, and he could only hope Ko was ready.

"Ko…are you prepared?" Hikaru asked, looking into his student's uncertain eyes. The boy slightly nodded. Hikaru let out a shaky breath and pronounced, "You will play this game. Win, for me." Ko almost flinched back, he was so jumpy. His eyes were wide and his bottom lip trembling, just a bit, just slightly. It was almost imperceptible, the nervousness that seemed to trickle over the boy. "Ko, relax. It is just one game. You will have many, many more to come. But play to your best ability, and do not let your nervousness win against you. Play like this is your last game. Play as if this is your last stone, your last move, your last chance to reach the Hand of God. Put meaning into everything you do. And try to win. And have fun." Hikaru winked and tapped his fan on the boy's head.

Torajiro nodded and slightly smiled. With a growing confidence, he picked up a black stone between his middle and forefingers and placed it with a loud resounding _"Ka-chi!"_ as the game began.

It was beautiful, and elegant, and Hikaru marveled at the amazing moves being played. His moves reflected grace and sophistication, just like Ko's calligraphy. Hikaru watched on obliviously as people gathered around the Go board and gazed in awe at the talent upon the board. Torajiro's hand was refined, much more so than his teacher who had started to sweat under the pressure of trying to beat his rising student. Ko didn't seem to feel any pressure and played inspired moves. Hikaru could tell that Torajiro was reading all the way to the end.

So it was no surprise to him when Shuwa's hand shook as he tried to place a white stone anywhere, anywhere beneficial or neutral. But no such place existed, and he lowered his hand back to his go-ke. "I resign," he continued, "You have truly overcome your problems with nervousness. It seems I underestimated you in this game." His short speech ended, anger barely coloring each word, and Hikaru could hear applause coming from all around him.

He won? Torajiro won! "Congratulations!" Hikaru yelled happily and tried to hug his student. But he couldn't feel his arms around the boy, he couldn't even tell that the boy had been there. Ko seemed to be glancing around the entire room, mouthing, "Sensei? Sensei, where are you?" The boy seemed to be trying hard not to say it aloud though he wanted to shout the words, if only to find his teacher.

"I'm right here!" Hikaru shouted, hoping the boy would see. He floated right before his eyes, but the boy seemed to be looking through him. "Sensei," Ko choked. "Where are you?"

"I'm here, Torajiro, I'm here!" Hikaru realized he had disappeared. Panic swept through him—He could see himself, but Ko could no longer. This was the end, and what a glorious and bittersweet end it was. Hikaru was proud of his student, and he hoped Torajiro would be proud of himself.

"You'll be great, Ko. You'll be amazing," he felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes and he sat before his goban. "You will change the Go world forever, and I will always remember you. I'll miss you." Torajiro was swept away by his friends and left both of his teachers at the haunted goban, two lost lambs gaping at the departing young man.

Oh Kami-sama, Hikaru would miss the boy. He wished for time to speed up, to pass him by as it had during his dormant days within the goban. If not that, he thought that perhaps he would be able to move into the afterlife without regrets. It seemed fate had other ideas.

* * *

**He is resilient.**

Toya Akira smiled. Yes, Hikaru had always been a fighter. _What of his student, Torajiro? _

**Wins the castle games undefeated. Best record in the history of Go, you know that.**

The man smiled sadly. _Of course I do. I also remember, the time when Sai apparently left him, Hikaru gave up Go completely. What becomes of this young man who has had Hikaru as his teacher for a whole decade?_

**Shusaku withdraws from the Go world and goes back to Innoshima for eighteen months. **

_Eighteen months? Why so long?_

**Shusaku needs the time to gather himself before Hikaru can reach him properly. I give him a chance for a final farewell.**

_And then Hikaru will move closer to realizing his fate…_

* * *

Torajiro woke up with a start. "Sensei?" he asked. He jumped up from his futon and glanced around his room. It had only been a dream. Only a sad, sad dream. And yet…

He looked out from his window and felt the breeze. It felt like his sensei was right there—just a little out of reach. "I will reach the Hand of God for you, Sensei. I will."

He heard footsteps behind him and he spun around. "Father?" he said upon seeing the man, "I wish to go back."

"About time," the older man grouched, "You've been lazing about for the longest time—well, better get going, Honinbo Shusaku!" He smirked and ushered his son toward the boy's knapsack. "Are you going to be bringing this brush?" The older man held the cherrywood brush delicately, not knowing why it was important, but just knowing that it was. Torajiro looked at it sadly. Great memories were associated with that brush…

"Oh, and what is this?"

Torajiro's head snapped toward the piece of cloth that his father was dangling between his forefinger and thumb.

On it, in a strange kind of messy handwriting—nothing like the calligraphy of most literate people he knew—something was plainly written: "P.S. My real name is Shindo Hikaru. I'll always cherish my time with you, Ko." The last word, Torajiro's nickname, was written in hiragana—unmistakably "Ko."

He smiled and gingerly took it from his father's grasp. "It is from a teacher of mine. He passed away, and this is the only thing I have left of him. Apart from my Go."

His father nodded, probably not comprehending the depth of his son's emotions. Torajiro had to smile to himself, because somehow, his teacher had managed to relay a message. A ghost who cared so much for his student—how had it happened? Torajiro wouldn't question it, at least not for now. Perhaps he would see his teacher in the afterlife, and he could tell the man all about how he reached the Hand of God. Of course, it hadn't happened yet, but Ko was sure it would. If only for Shindou-sensei.

* * *

_Thanks for letting me leave a note for Ko. _Hikaru said. Taking a chance, he added a bit. _Anyway, I happened to notice that I never reached the Divine Move._ He wasn't quite sure where he was, but he knew he hadn't yet passed on once again.

**That is your own fault, but I can give you another chance.**

_Oh? What's that?_

**You can find out for yourself**

_Hm. Fine. Be that way._

**You do not sound thankful. This is your fourth—and last—chance to reach the Hand of God. I do not punish insolence though I should, but I do punish ungratefulness. Be more vigilant, for this will be your last life. **

Hikaru sighed. The voice was right—he'd been given chances, and he had ruined them. His first life, his Heian life, and the life he had just lost. But had his time with Ko really been ruined? Hikaru was convinced that teaching Ko had been more important than reaching the Hand of God. But Ko…had he reached the Hand of God?

_Does Ko ever—_

**Yes. He does. And he always keeps you in his heart.**

Hikaru felt a little hitch in his breath—a gasping kind of hitch—_Thank You_ he was able to whisper before being thrown back into his goban. And for another century or two, he would wait.

He followed Torajiro for the rest of his earthly life, watching over him as the teenage boy grew into a man. Hikaru watched as he married Matsuno—and no one thought it strange that Ko had a go board hiding around during the ceremony. Although Torajiro could not see him, Hikaru liked to think that the boy could feel him.

And Hikaru watched and cried. Seeing the weariness set into his student's bones made Hikaru weary as well. The students at the Honinbo School were falling left and right: cholera. Hikaru could do nothing but watch as Torajiro fell upon the goban, staining it with blood. And he didn't even get to see the funeral. No one had thought to bring Shusaku's precious goban to his funeral. Hikaru never got to see Ko's final resting place, even though he knew rationally that he had seen it in his first life. He watched and mourned another friend.

* * *

_Note to __**Barranca**__ because I didn't have time to respond before posting this chapter: a little more sadness for Hikaru—you notice really interesting things that I could have worked in, had I had the patience to write about it (^.^;)_

**Everyonee:** I am kind of torturing Hikaru: should I change the genre to drama or angst or something? As a general note, I would have updated earlier, but I just got back from another trip—performing and also doing community service—don't ask me what, because I'm paranoid about internet stalkers, doesn't matter who you are. So I would have updated earlier.


	7. Interlude

Disclaimer: All characters belong to me. Hahahaha!  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series, Inuyasha, and Scrubs (through season 4)

**_E_ternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

**Ch 7: Will this rhyme with something?**

_And Hikaru watched and cried. Seeing the weariness set into his student's bones made Hikaru weary as well. The students at the Honinbo were falling left and right: cholera. Hikaru could do nothing but watch as Ko fell upon the goban, staining it with blood. And he didn't even get to see the funeral. He never got to see Ko's final resting place, even though he knew rationally that he had seen it in his first life. He watched and mourned another friend._

Hikaru opened his eyes to see a familiar setting. "What am I doing here?" he wondered to himself. It was a cold, dusty place, dark and foreboding. The shock suddenly filtered through his brain when he realized where he was.

"Shindo!" Hikaru looked up.

"Toya Meijin?" he wondered, looking at the old man. Hikaru had never outgrown calling the man meijin, even after Akira had earned the title.

"It is I," he said posthumously.

Hikaru looked around. "Where am I?" he asked, whirling around, wondering what was going on. "What is this?"

The old man chuckled a wry chuckle that quickly grew into a full blown guffaw. "You are in hell! For all of your sins and trespasses, the gods have sent you here!"

"No! How? What did I do wrong?" Hikaru pleaded, looking around at all the other poor souls dragging their chains in the fiery place.

"You, Shindo Hikaru," Toya sneered, "read fanfiction and never reviewed! Not once! You may have favorited and put them on your alert, but alas, not once did you review! For that, you have been sent here."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why? Why?!" Hikaru fell to his knees and sobbed into his burning his hands. The fire was eating him up, limb by limb. "What happened to go? What happened to the Hand of God?"

Toya started fading away, but before he was gone completely, Hikaru heard him say, "The Go gods aren't the only gods. Have fun in hell."

Hikaru's tears evaporated before they could touch the fire, and he mourned them as well. "If only I had left a review! If only!"

Suddenly, Akira appeared with a grin. "Happy April Fools Day!" he shouted.

Hikaru's tears were still flowing, but he had no energy to fuel them. "April...Fools? Then..."

"You're being sent right back to earth. You have one last chance, remember? Don't waste it. I'll see you in heaven, Hikaru."

And with that, Akira flew away on a giant cloud of yellow smog, snickering along with the author at Hikaru's reaction to the joke. "We should do that more often," Toya said to God.

"Yeah, playing jokes on a guy so gullible is the best," I answered.

* * *

April Fools! Just to encourage my mind to come with the next chapter. I'll probably delete this (should I?) and post the next one in a week or so, depending on my equation. Happy April Fools day, and I hope none of you were hit by the conficker virus/worm thing.


	8. Knowing the Past Has Set Me Free

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for the OCs whom you've already seen. No new people.  
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series

**eternity**

by The Honorable Arik Novak

* * *

**Ch7:**** Knowing the Past Has Set Me Free**

_And Hikaru watched and cried. Seeing the weariness set into his student's bones made Hikaru weary as well. The students at the Honinbo were falling left and right: cholera. Hikaru could do nothing but watch as Ko fell upon the goban, staining it with blood. And he didn't even get to see the funeral. He never got to see Ko's final resting place, even though he knew rationally that he had seen it in his first life. He watched and mourned another friend._

Hikaru opened his eyes to see a familiar setting. "What am I doing here?" he wondered to himself. It was a cold, dusty place, dark and foreboding. The shock suddenly filtered through his brain when he realized where he was.

"Too bad there's a stain on it."

Here it was.

"There is no stain."

Oh Kami-sama, it was happening!

"Yeah, there is! A stain right there!"

"You can see it?" Hikaru asked his younger self. He knew how menacing he looked, how his eyes were glowing with the thought of new opportunities. There was a permanent feeling of déjà vu as he stared at himself. He remembered. The younger Hikaru fainted. Ouch, falling had hurt. He remembered that too.

"Now we can't play Go! Stupid Hikaru!" That boy! He was insufferable. The child had no idea what the word subtlety meant, and his methods did no one good. Revealing that man's baldness was unfair and inappropriate—more than that, Sensei kicked them out! He needed to reach the Hand of God! He only had two years at the most, and most of that would be spent playing on the internet—he needed a game against a real person. Sai—Hikaru had only one purpose now: to reach the Hand of God. If he lived the rest of this farcical life without that one perfect game, he would join the ranks of Go players who failed. And it would be worse because he would have had four chances!

He couldn't let that happen. After everything—he had to reach it, he just had to!

It had taken him by surprise. He knew it would happen after they were kicked out from Sensei's class. When he first saw Akira, his heart skipped a beat or two. His rival. He couldn't take his eyes off of the young man. Had Akira ever seemed so young? To Hikaru, Toya had always seemed mature beyond his years. When he had been a child, it seemed to Hikaru that Akira was already an adult. But now, now Akira looked exactly his proper age, even if he was wearing a dorky school uniform with his pants rolled up just below the knee.

The boy was so modest, so…complacent. Hikaru, the old Hikaru, decided that Akira needed the rivalry. Without it, would the man have become as amazing as he had? He almost laughed to himself when he caught the look on Akira's face at seeing the young Hikaru's inexperienced way of holding the stones. Sai refrained from speaking, apart from telling Hikaru the moves. His Go could speak for itself, even if the younger boy could not hear it yet. Akira would be so amazing—it almost tore his heart when he realized the fate that would come to this young man. But he let the younger Hikaru move on, away from the Go salon, and away from his destined rival.

"Oh! A giant bird!" he said to himself during Hikaru's physical education class. That had been Sai's reaction to his first sight of an airplane. There had been nothing like it in the Heian or Shusaku's era, and now he felt guilty for ever having made fun of the man. It really was amazing. Hikaru wasn't sure when it started to happen, but gradually, he felt himself doing things before remembering that Sai did them. It was like he forgot that it had ever happened until he did it…but that was impossible and strange.

Hikaru imagined he could do things differently here. He could warn Toya Koyo about the impending heart attack, prevent the breaking up of his family, and even Akira's death. That felt like the most important. How? At first, he tried convincing his younger self that ramen was unhealthy. If he wasn't ramen-crazy, then they wouldn't have made that stupid bet, right? But the more he rebuked, the more the boy ate. His health would suffer as well, it seemed.

The second time he played Toya Akira, he played seriously but not too aggressively. He owed the boy so much. He wanted to encourage him, not make him depressed as the Sai in his time had done. Hikaru still remembered that Akira wouldn't say a word after the match, too stunned that he couldn't bring the play past the opening of the game. But the outcome was the same, and Akira hung his head either in shame or in pensive thought; Hikaru wasn't sure which. The younger Hikaru snuck out cautiously, probably feeling uneasy.

Little Hikaru asked him after the game, "Sai, why did you win like that? Couldn't you just win by two moku again? Sai?" So the boy felt guilty for him. But Sai—Hikaru—wasn't sure how he could have taken it easy on the boy.

He adopted a serious look and stared into the distance, focusing on nothing. "That boy…I had no choice but to slice his head from his body." Unspoken, he knew that the challenge would strengthen the boy, even though it looked crushing at the moment. Akira was really too good—there was no possible way to provide a good game against him and go easy at the same time.

Young Hikaru didn't seem to understand Akira's dedication and seriousness. If Sai—Hikaru—had to guess, he would hypothesize that Akira didn't understand either. For now, he was playing for his father and barely for himself. Sai decided he would need more to spur the boy on. The only times he had ever seen Akira fired up for something were during their frequent arguments after they had become friends.

He realized, belatedly, that he would have to be the one to spur Hikaru on, the one to strengthen the rivalry from behind the scenes.

Toya was smarter than Sai remembered him being. "Everyone on the net is in a frenzy to discover Sai's identity," he said suggestively.

"Huh? Sai's identity? Ha! And you thought it was me?" Hikaru laughed. He really was a good actor.

Hikaru—Sai continued to watch the scene, Toya tense as a wooden board and Hikaru ostensibly relaxed. Apparently, he was so convincing—so very convincing, that Akira seemed to have given up.

"Yeah…it can't be you. Sorry. I won't bother you again," the serious boy muttered and swiftly turned around.

"Huh?"

Sai remembered this—this was when Hikaru first thought of himself as a go player apart from Sai. This was when Hikaru decided that he would become a formidable opponent. This was when—

"If you keep chasing my ghost, the real me will catch up with you someday!" And there it was. Sai looked down upon himself, upon his student, and saw a determined young man, nowhere near adulthood. But his words and dedication had the heart of a seasoned Go player.

"You will? Maybe instead of someday, let's play now." Sai could see Hikaru deflate. The boy's bravado had worn off because there was no way he was good enough to play Akira yet. Toya, too, seemed disappointed, and departed with a heavy heart.

"It's okay, Hikaru," Sai—Hikaru—Sai muttered to the young man. "You'll play him someday."

Instead of acknowledging the spirit's words, Hikaru muttered, "People are trying to discover your identity. We can't use the internet anymore…let's stop, Sai."

He knew this would happen! But he couldn't stop! How would he reach the Hand of God if he could never play? It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all! But he didn't say anything. After all, Sai knew from experience that the strain of keeping him a secret was hard. Hikaru already looked stressed enough.

Things were progressing strangely in this alternate universe or alternate timeline, whatever it was. Hikaru was growing quickly, becoming so strong even though it had been a year. As an outsider looking in, Sai—Hikaru could fully appreciate the progress the boy was making. He played games with him as often as possible, but there was no way he could reach the Divine Move just by playing Hikaru. He needed that match against Toya Koyo. That would be _the_ game that would present an opportunity to play the Hand of God. He would just have to play it better than his Sai had. He would have to.

Then Hikaru had met Kishimoto, the Kaoi Go Club president…and now Hikaru wanted to chase Akira even more. The growing rivalry was blinding in its intensity. Sai was blown away by the drive Hikaru had obtained. He really was chasing Akira.

"What about the Hand of God?" he asked himself one night when Hikaru was asleep. He talked to himself frequently, mostly because Hikaru was becoming more involved with improving himself. Things were no longer about helping Sai play the Divine move. No, everything was about making little Hikaru better. And Sai—Hikaru wasn't sure which he wanted more. Little Hikaru would make it, probably, and this young Hikaru, who couldn't possibly be the same Hikaru who was impersonating Sai now, was none of his concern. Sai's main concern was reaching the Hand of God. This other Hikaru was someone else's problem.

But…hadn't Ko felt like someone else's problem too? He had chosen Ko over himself, so why couldn't he do the same for this kid? Sai had to admit that he could never abandon his students. Never.

* * *

It was strange how realizations came to him. He thought it was strange, at first, like when Hikaru had been playing against the man for his insei exam. The exam itself wasn't strange, the man wasn't strange…but Sai—Hikaru realized that the boy was in trouble. There was no way he could come back; there was no possible avenue for victory.

He knew Hikaru wouldn't win, and he knew that Hikaru probably wouldn't ask for help…but the boy had given in to letting Sai play when he had played for smaller stakes, like the Go club's tournament. Sai knew that Hikaru didn't have to win to pass, but the boy didn't know that, and when everything was on the line, Sai was sure that Hikaru would accept help. "Hikaru, at this rate, a loss is certain. For one time, I will…"

But Hikaru didn't stir at all. His focus was so completely on the go board…the boy couldn't hear a thing he said. It was just like Ko, all over again. Sai—Hikaru knew that the boy wasn't doing it on purpose. To own such concentration but be lacking in skill was unfortunate. But that wasn't the only time Sai tried to change something from what he remembered happening.

He tried to stop Hikaru from revealing that he knew about the game between Waya and Sai. Another time, he tried to tell Hikaru about the mistake he just made, which turned into a great hand (why hadn't he remembered that?) during the Young Lions Tournament. He tried to warn Hikaru about the stomachache he would have the next day at the Pro Exam if he kept eating. He tried so hard to change anything. Anything! He tried to make Hikaru late for an appointment to which he had been early in his past life, but nothing! Nothing.

He even tried telling Hikaru that Toya-sensei's heart was in trouble, but the words wouldn't come. Something was strange. One day, just out of the blue, Hikaru—Sai—Hikaru asked the boy, "What color are my eyes?"

"Why are you asking now? I have to prepare for my game—"

"Hikaru, just tell me."

Little Hikaru, who really wasn't that little anymore, turned to him and inspected the ghost. "Funny…" he muttered, "I never really cared, but you have a really strange eye color. Are you sure you're Japanese?" That wasn't so strange, Sai thought. He'd always had greenish eyes, and he had no idea which of his parents he got them from— "Kind of violet." What?

His eyes had always been green, maybe hazel, but never anywhere near violet. "A-and my clothes, what color are they?"

"Sai, you sound really weird." Sai—Hikaru just sent him a pleading look and the boy rolled his eyes. "Fine, they're white, kind of bluish maybe? What, and you wanna know the color of your hair too? It's black! Or your fan? It's yellow! Man, Sai, just let me study!"

Sai—Hikaru—Sai took a deep breath and chuckled to himself. If Hikaru were not there, he thought he would have gone hysterical. Blue? He lifted his sleeve. It was most definitely tan-colored to his eyes. And his fan? It was blue, of course, since it was the fan Sai had given him. His fan…Sai's fan, from his memory as a kid, was yellow. It was a pale yellow color…

What did it mean? Well then Ko probably hadn't been colorblind.

He wasn't in an alternate universe, he wasn't changing the past…he had always been Sai. There had never been a Sai to begin with! Hikaru felt himself fall into depression and tried to keep it from the other Hikaru. This was crazy, absolutely crazy. So the man he had idolized in the Heian Era, the man for whom he had been _executed_, was not the man who had taught him go? That was wrong, so very wrong.

"Sai!" he mourned in his head, realizing he never knew Sai. It was strange—scary even. That was why he hadn't recognized the man the first time he met him in the Heian Era. This was all so wrong!

But he had befriended the real Sai. The real man, who had a short temper, hard jaw, and piercing eyes. The _real_ Sai who loved Go and traveled the world to find the Hand of God. The _real _Sai who had trusted him implicitly and loved him unconditionally. He would continue in memory of that Sai, the real Sai. He didn't know what to feel about his childhood days anymore. Did that mean that his Sai had been a future version of himself? That the man who really taught him Go had _left him_.

Hikaru froze. Did that mean he would leave this boy after the space of two short years? This impatient, precocious boy who was so different from his future self? Did that mean _his Sai_ had known but never really sat him down and told him? He remembered one warning, just one clue that his Sai would leave. Sai had given him only one and…that hurt, and Hikaru was afraid to admit it.

He looked down at his student, feeling so lost, so forlorn. What should he do? Had he always been his own teacher? Sai laughed as a strange thought occurred to him. Akira was right: Hikaru was Sai.

Sai—Hikaru—Sai remembered this game, though his memory was from the point of view of a teenager. The game between himself and Toya Koyo. It was just him against the old man, nothing but them and their Go. He played his moves, uninfluenced by the game he had seen as a child. This—this was his game, his chance. Perhaps he would reach it here. Maybe Sai had reached the divine move and it never really registered to young Hikaru. Maybe he could still witness the Divine Move.

But the game ended, and he won. It was strange. There was nothing amazing about this game from his perspective. Sure it was an invigorating game, the best of this life, but to be honest, it had been more amazing when he had watched it as a teenager. Hikaru felt a certain amount of accomplishment and disappointment. Wasn't this supposed to be the game in which he would play the Divine Move? Wasn't he supposed to feel the glow in his spiritual fingertips, perhaps glimpse them on young Hikaru's fingertips—wasn't he supposed to witness the Hand of God? This was his last chance! "My last…chance to reach it." After this, he would play one more game with a drunken Ogata before his departure, and he doubted he would reach the Divine Move in a game like that. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't—

"…here." Sai glanced down at the intersection on the screen where Hikaru was pointing. The boy started explaining what could have happened, a move that would have changed the course of the entire game. "…If black had placed a stone in the corner here…the tables would have been turned! You would have lost!"

He remembered. And it was true.

Little—or not so little Hikaru didn't realize what he just did. If Toya Koyo had placed that move—that inspired, completely imperceptible move—he would have won. And _Hikaru_ found it. Had he known, as a child, that he had found the Divine Move? No, he didn't! It had just seemed like any other move! Sai was stunned—so he had found the Divine Move. He hadn't played it—as a boy, he hadn't placed the moves that led up to it, but he had spotted it. And he never realized.

Was this his purpose? Kami-sama gave him a thousand years…to teach Ko…to teach Hikaru, who would in turn teach Rui and Oka, who would pass on the dedication and love for Go. Had God planned it this way? That he would see the Divine Move—but not play it—only when he didn't realize it was the Divine Move?

What...what about him? For him, though? Where was his Hand of God? It was such a rip-off! So he found the Divine Move, but he wanted to play it, not just see it! Perhaps his purpose had been merely to teach, to give the Go world models from which to learn. What were his options? Stunt the boy's growing talent by whining about the Hand of God, or giving up his last chance for the Hand of God to ensure the boy's success in Go? Hikaru—Sai was sure that of the two, he would always pick Hikaru. He would always pick his students. Even if it meant giving up his search for the Divine Move.

But he was fading—he had to leave. This time, he tried to tell. He tried so hard to lessen the blow once he left. Hikaru—Sai hovered around the young boy, unseen by all. He didn't want to leave, and he didn't want to see that despondent look upon his face. But he had to leave. As much as he remembered the pain and sorrow of losing his Sai, he knew that it would force the boy to greater things. For only after Sai left, did his students ever grow to be on the level of Go Saints. His departure—it would strengthen the boy and bring little Hikaru ever closer to the Hand of God.

Everything proceeded exactly as it had in his time. He didn't try to fight it, but he did try to tell Hikaru. But he couldn't stop it at all, and he delegated himself to the sidelines just to watch over Hikaru. He faded away, just like with Ko. This hurt even more, it seemed, because he could remember the pain from Hikaru's perspective so very well…

He never wanted to leave. Even if he just floated around Hikaru for the rest of the boy's life, he would be happy.

Reluctantly—not because he was missing out on his chance for the Hand of God—because he would miss the young man terribly, he came to him in a dream.

"You will be amazing. It will be hard at first, and you will struggle. But you will grow so much. You will teach so many, encourage so many, and your go will live on in your students' go. It's been fun." He knew Hikaru had not heard him, but he felt better for saying the words anyway. He had the fan, and reluctantly, for he knew that he would part from this amazing child as soon as the fan passed from him, he gave it to the young man.

* * *

A/n: I'm leaving the April Fool's chapter because it was so popular. Next is the last. (T.T)


	9. aemuli sumus aeterni

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for the random people you've already seen.

**eternity**

_by The Honorable Arik Novak_

* * *

Ch 8: aemuli sumus aeterni

_"You will be amazing. It will be hard at first, and you will struggle. But you will grow __so much__. You will teach so many, encourage so many, and your go will live on in your students' go. It's been fun." He had the fan, and reluctantly, for he knew that he would part from this amazing child as soon as the fan passed from him, he gave it to the young man._

* * *

"Takotsubo cardiomyopathy."

"Octopus?" Waya's breath hitched in a mockery of laughter and his voice trembled as if he were on the edge of hysterics.

"Heart failure?" Isumi asked, "How? He's not that old, and he has no history of heart problems!" His voice was shaky as well, though the panic was not as obvious as Waya's.

The woman in a white lab coat sighed. "It's a strange phenomenon, named after the shape of the heart during this type of attack—it looks like the takotsubo used to catch octopuses. Most patients feel something akin to a heart attack and then recover without any permanent damage to their hearts. Unfortunately, your friend seems to have had untreated obstructive sleep apnea as well, something that contributed to this hypoexemic hypoxia—i.e., a decrease in oxygen saturation of the blood."

"Obstructive sleep apnea?" Isumi asked, "Don't you think Hikaru would've been treated for such a serious condition?" Waya had no idea what they were talking about.

The doctor shook her head. "Sleep apnea isn't usually this serious. It is very possible that it didn't seem serious at the time it was diagnosed, if ever diagnosed."

"Stupid Shindo," Waya muttered.

The doctor continued, "When the brain is denied oxygen, then, well, this happens." Cough. "Earlier, you mentioned someone named Toya Akira?"

"Yes. We just went to the funeral a day before Hikaru disappeared, actually. Two days ago was Akira's funeral. Recently deceased," Isumi said morbidly.

She sighed again and started speaking, "Sometimes this kind of abnormal heart failure is more scientifically called transient apical ballooning cardiomyopathy. I…suspect Shindo Hikaru was very close to this Akira?"

"Very," Waya whispered despondently.

Another sigh. This doctor seemed to sigh an awful lot. "There is nothing physically wrong with his heart—that is, there is no physical or permanent damage. Scientists are not entirely sure why this happens, but it has been proven that people with no history of heart problems can develop this kind of cardiomyopathy after some kind of stressor, usually in the form of grief. A person, when reality hits him, cannot deal with the loss of a loved one and the body itself cannot cope. Hikaru must have truly loved this woman. Were they dating at the time?"

Even Isumi could not hold back a chuckle, albeit a very wry chuckle. Waya didn't try to control his bitter laughter as he informed the doctor that Hikaru would have enjoyed hearing that. "But Akira was a guy…Hikaru's rival."

The doctor didn't seem flustered at all. "Then they must have been very close." Pause. "I am afraid to say that, judging from everything we've seen, Hikaru will not likely awaken. Miracles have happened, but in this case, the brain is barely functioning. He could very well enter a vegetative state."

So Hikaru was in an irreversible coma. Waya didn't know what to do. He flopped ineffectively into a hard chair beside Hikaru's prone form and put his head in his hands.

The man continued, "Sometimes we just cannot change that which God intends. Your friend will probably be in a better place, should his family choose to just let him go."

Waya's head shot up. "Let him go? Let him go! Are you crazy!" Waya shouted, much to the doctor's visible distaste.

"I'm sorry, Waya-san, but haven't you thought of Mr. Shindo-san's needs? He obviously felt _empty _without this Toya and whatever they had in their relationship. Empty enough that his heart stopped," then, more compassionately, she added, "He may be in a better place."

"No, no! He must've had other things to live for—a crush, or, or his family, or other people!" Waya's nails were digging into the back of his scalp and an agonized, frustrated cry escaped from him.

Isumi shook his head and aimed a severe glare at Waya. "Think for once, Waya. Hikaru's parents split up a while ago, and when was the last time you saw him with a girl? He must have felt he had no one—"

"He had US!" Waya wailed, pounding on his knees. "He had friends! Friends who cared about him! But all he cared about was Toya and their petty rivalry!" His eyes were shut tightly, but nothing could stop the few tears from leaking through.

Isumi put a comforting hand on Waya's shoulder. "Maybe…have you ever thought that the rivalry had been something deeper than wanting to beat the other guy? It always seemed like there was something more between them. I—I wouldn't be surprised if Hikaru thought there was no reason for Go without Akira challenging him," Isumi said, now a bit choked up. Waya placed his own hand upon Isumi's and squeezed.

"Weren't we enough? Didn't he think about us?" Waya whimpered. Isumi sat down as well, and placed an awkward arm around his friend's shoulders. "It's not like he wanted to go. You have to remember that it is nothing like suicide. Hikaru is still alive, and we ought to cherish that."

"Stupid Shindo," Waya sniffed, all of energy having been drained away. "Sleeping on a bench in the middle of nowhere where no one can find you. You…you were just lying there when we found you. You could've been alive if we'd found you! Stupid, stupid, stupid…" Isumi merely continued to comfort his friend, finally feeling at a loss for words.

"And he won't wake up anytime soon, will he?" Waya asked, even though the doctor might have answered that question earlier. The doctor shook her head slowly, and Waya could only avert his gaze toward his comatose friend.

* * *

_"Wake up, Shindo. Wake up."_

He felt himself freer than ever before, freer than life itself, and found himself opposite a familiar face.

"Shindo!" Waya? What was Waya doing in the afterlife?

_Beep …Beep_. What was that infernal noise? The beeping continued, unaffected by Hikaru's irritation.

"Shindo, are you awake yet?" Hikaru was wondering what on earth was going on. He was lying down, it seemed. The last thing he remembered was leaving his younger self…Was he alive? Had he imagined his entire adventure? "C'mon, you—you have students to teach and games to play!" The voice sounded like it had rehearsed its lines over and over again, but still held the urgency of a desperate plea. Hikaru's head hurt. His chest hurt. He closed his eyes, if only to sleep a bit more.

"Please, wake up!"

Hikaru's consciousness wavered once or twice, and he finally awoke. _Beep…Beep _He glanced around—a hospital room? He was weak, but not so weak that he couldn't move his arms. He found that a tray of food had been left on the table floating above him. Half-conscious and half-fading, he located a pen. His fingers, though, were much too weak to handle a pen deftly enough to use one. The utensil fell lifelessly from his fingers and he felt a certain disconnection from the world. Hikaru shivered as he could feel the familiar pulling at his soul, the call to join his friends in the afterworld, and somehow he knew that this journey was the very last.

"Shindo, you're awake!" Ah Waya, still. But a much older Waya with wrinkles on his forehead and crow's feet by his weary eyes. What was he doing here, and why was he calling for Shindo? Was Hikaru not Sai anymore? Hikaru smiled a last waning smile and attempted to wave. His hand was just too weak. "Shindo-sensei?" another voice said from the hallway. Who was calling him teacher? The voice was too mature to belong to any of his students…

Waya bent over Hikaru's prone form and, with despairing eyes, took in Hikaru's condition. "Shindo, you-you were in a coma! For years, more than a decade!" So was his adventure just one long comatose dream?

"En-entire time?" Hikaru wondered aloud. _Beep…Beep. _He coughed—he had no idea talking would be so hard on his throat. Though it was understandable, since it had remained unused for quite a while, judging from Waya's appearance.

Waya shook his head and held a straw for Hikaru to sip water. "You've woken up maybe…twice. The first time was almost a year after you fell into your coma, and the second was December two years ago."

Hikaru's brain was so muddled that it took considerable effort to ask, "Tooday is…?"

_Beep…Beep_

"May fifth, two-thousand twenty-eight."

"Me. Lying here. For thirteen years!" Hikaru exclaimed weakly. He struggled to sit up but fell back down.

"But it's okay, Shindo, 'cause you're awake now, and you're talking and you're aware, and they said you were brain-dead but now you're not, and you can come back to professional Go, because everyone's been waiting for you, even Oka even though she's an adult now, and you should see her kid—he's adorable, and—"

"Shh," Hikaru hushed him. For once, Hikaru silenced Waya perfectly and completely. His strength was quickly draining away, and his struggle to keep himself was becoming a losing battle. _Beep…Beep._ He could tell his time was up, and he only had so long before he would be dragged away from consciousness. He motioned for Waya to come closer, and with a shaking voice, imparted his words. Waya nodded after each sentence as tears started coming to his eyes. He held Hikaru's hand all the while and squeezed with all his might once Hikaru finished speaking. "I-I'll be going soon, ya know," Hikaru said solemnly.

"But you can't leave, Shindo-sensei!" the female voice said, from somewhere in the room. It did sound like Oka…

"You just woke up, and the Go world has been waiting for you," Waya told him sadly, resignedly. Hikaru shook his head feebly and half-wondered where the fiery energetic Waya had gone. Waya wiped his tears with one hand, and shaking sobs attacked his chest once he felt Hikaru's hand slacken.

_Beep. Beep._

"I think…the earthly Go world...has t-tolerated all the Shindo it can…take," Hikaru whispered a last joking remark to both himself and Waya between labored breaths. "Sorry." The hand dropped with frightening decisiveness and Waya could do nothing. "Sorry…" he seemed to whisper.

_Beep! Beep! _

_ Beep! Beep!_

_ Beep! Beep! _

_ Beep! Beep!_

"He's crashing!" a doctor yelled from somewhere in the distance, "We need some help in here!"

"Shindo!" Hikaru wanted Waya to stop worrying. Hikaru was ready to go if it was his time.

"Shindo-sensei, why are you leaving us?" Yes, that was most definitely Oka, though she seemed much older.

"Get those two out of here!" another nameless doctor shouted. They were leaving? No! They couldn't leave him alone, not in his last moments! Hikaru wanted to bid farewell to Oka too, but something was urgently pulling Hikaru away.

A muffled, _"Clear!"_ floated through his brain, but he could barely understand it. He felt a shock go through him, and then the pull transformed into a push, into a rollercoaster, something that just surrounded him and moved him to some other plane of existence. It was a thousand times, a million times, stronger than the pull of his goban. Suddenly, he felt as if he were catapulted into the air**—**

_Beeeeeeeeeeep…_

—and gently reposed upon a cloud. Far, far away, he thinks he can see the doctors. They are trying and failing to shock him back to life, but he knows that his time on Earth is finished. He feels freer than ever before, freer than life itself, and finds himself staring at familiar face.

"Shindo."

"T-Toya? Toya, how I've missed you!" He lunges for the other man, his arms reaching around and clutching his rival to himself. He is giddy and energetic, and man, it feels good not to be in a coma!

"You realize I was right," the other man merely says, pulling away with a smile.

Hikaru has no idea what the other man is referring to. Apparently, it shows on his face because Toya suddenly laughs and pulls the other man toward the light. "I knew Shindo Hikaru was Sai!" So he hadn't dreamt his entire adventure. Or is this still a dream?

Toya laughs with Shindo as the newcomer looks around at his new surroundings. The Afterlife is an endless expanse of white and more white with white in between. But there are people everywhere, people he needs to introduce Shindo to. He catches Shindo's despair, as the other man catches the eyes of his two young prodigies. "Rui? Oka? You're both so young!" Toya can sense Shindo losing the happiness he had gained upon seeing Toya. He knows how it looks; the two students are there, looking to be around their mid-twenties. Shindo is smart, though. He just saw Oka on the living plane, and she was way past her teenage years when he last saw her. He should be able to put the pieces together.

"Do not be sad, Shindo-sensei," Oka says, "We both lived very long lives. The afterlife gives us bodies that are in their peak. Everyone you meet here will have young physical bodies unless they desire otherwise. Like Toya-san over there," She points somewhere and Shindo seems surprised to see the very same older man he left behind in his old life, chatting with another man, a much younger man who he seems to recognize.

"Kuwabara-san decided to take the younger age," Oka giggles. Toya chuckles to himself at seeing Shindo's gagging expression. Beside the two men is a woman who Shindo should know to be Akari. She seems busy, laughing it up with her father-in-law and Kuwabara. But there is another young woman beside her, someone whom Toya is sure Shindo ought to figure out.

"I don't think I know her," Shindo says, looking at the woman. She is pretty and has very good posture, something Shindo probably expects from Toya. She even has his hair color. Then it seems to dawn on Shindo. "That's not Aki. Is it?" Aki was barely a year old when Toya died—he felt horrible for leaving Akari since she would be a single mother on a low salary. But Akari was able to live a full and satisfying life, especially with her daughter alongside her.

"That is Aki," Toya says proudly. "She grew up to be such a beautiful young woman. And she took the Meijin title when she was twenty!" Shindo grins.

"And she married as well. A nice boy named Shuang. A few years younger than her, but they were a nice couple," Toya says with a mischievous tone. He hopes Shindo catches his suggestive manner. Shindo should realize there is something more to Aki's husband.

Oka grins. She continues the epilogue to their lives, "Shuang—that's our son," she says, nodding towards a young man who is sidling up to Aki and putting his arms around her. Shindo seems to wonder at the Chinese name. Toya imagines Shindo is hastily concluding that Oka married a Chinese man. This is getting really weird to Shindo. Shuang, a boy whom Shindo never met, the child of one of his most promising students, and Aki, Toya's little love, got together? "Our, meaning Rui and me. We're soul mates. We married as soon as we were old enough." Toya looks on as realization came to Shindo's face. It amazed him too when he had met Shuang, the son of two of his most promising students. And she doesn't just stop there. "We also had two daughters, Akira and Hikaru."

"What! Why didn't you name your _son_ after me?" Shindo demands, looking at Toya from the corner of his eye. He wears the same expression that Shindo is now wearing. Toya asked the same question at one point.

Rui laughs. "Shuang was born first, not long after Toya-sensei's death and your death. We were both angry with you and Akira for leaving, so we did not want a reminder of either of you. We did remember both of you, though. Shuang means bright or clear. Of course we eventually forgave both of you, and when we had twin girls, it was obvious what we would name them."

Toya hopes that Rui looks oddly familiar to Shindo now that the younger man is speaking. Shindo should sense something that he didn't sense when Rui was a kid, but Shindo doesn't seem sure of what it is. "Rui…there is something about you…" Shindo looks around him for a split second, as if looking for the answer in the broad expanse of white. To him, maybe the answer is the afterlife. "Something not present in your physical life," he adds.

Both Rui and Oka grin. Slyly, Rui asks, "Shimamura-sensei, do you believe in reincarnation?"

Shindo sputters. Toya can see Shindo's brain quickly connecting the dots, that everything is connected here. Everything, everyone, has a purpose. "Could it be possible that I met and taught my two students over three lifetimes?" Shindo wondered aloud.

"It's a strange feeling, isn't it, Shindo?" Toya asks, putting a hand on his rival's shoulder. "Knowing how everything connects."

"But how can they be here, and you, and Kuwabara-sensei? He was like…a gazillion years old!"

Toya Akira smirks at his rival's fascination. "The Afterlife is not contained within time, Shindo. We are completely separate from the material world. You could watch your entire lifetime, look upon every lifetime that ever was and will be, and it will feel like a second has passed—like centuries have passed—whatever you prefer. We are in a state of being that had no beginning and will have no end. We've always been here. You, however, you were already dead and haunting the Heian era when you were supposed to be here. You've been here for all of eternity but…your consciousness took a while to reach us. We are sempiternal. We always had, have, and will have eternity."

"That's so crazy, but I-I actually understand. It's like…I understand everything."

"Everything happens in the now. That is what the Afterlife is like," Toya says needlessly. Shindo's amazement at the sheer awesomeness of everything only amuses Toya.

"What about God? Kami-sama kind of screwed me over…" Shindo suddenly asks with a laugh.

Toya hesitates. "Well, she—"

"Fujiwara no Sai is here, if you wish to say hi, as are Waya and Isumi," Toya Koyo interrupts as he walks toward the group. "I mean, the real historical Fujiwara no Sai. I spoke with him earlier about you, Shindo Hikaru."

"Sai? I always wondered how that whole spiel turned out." Shindo glances at Toya, who is frowning since his conversation with Shindo was interrupted. Shindo smiles a mischievous smile, one that thoroughly worries Toya. "But first…" Suddenly, a goban appears from nowhere and lands between Akira and Hikaru. Toya looks at him in confusion. Nevertheless, he lowers himself into seiza and looks Shindo in the eye. Instead of speaking as Akira expects him to do, he gestures toward the goban as two go-ke appear. "This place is really cool," Hikaru says to himself.

"Shindo..." Toya starts. The other boy ignores him, and they both automatically perform nigiri. Shindo is black.

"What about Sai?" Akira asks, failing to keep the jealousy from his voice. Hikaru seems to ignore him, but Akira sees the other man's stone, secure between his middle and forefingers, hovering above the goban ready to be placed or put back in its go-ke. It looks to Akira that the other man will change his mind and run after Sai as he always expected Hikaru to do. After all, he himself once chose to chase Sai over Hikaru.

Akira's eyes follow Hikaru's arm as it lowers and a sigh escapes from him. Didn't Shindo Hikaru always run after Sai? Although Akira didn't know it at the time, did Shindo Hikaru not always intend to forget about him and go after Sai?

_Pa-chi_

Akira looks at the goban, and there it is, one glistening black stone seated royally on tengen. Akira locks eyes with his timeless rival.

_Zhiik!_

Hikaru smirks, flaunting a familiar fan. "Didn't you say we have eternity?"

* * *

"Toya, you okay?" Waya asked, walking toward her. Akari nodded sadly. "He wrote Aki into his official will, you know. That old goban that he never used but always kept—it's hers." By her side, little Aki, not so little now at fourteen, was ignoring them. She was too busy handling a fan—the little yellow fan that Hikaru had randomly bought at a gift shop after he had emerged from his depression all those years ago. Akari gently plucked it from the teenager's fingers and ever so reluctantly placed it before the grave. "It seems we must let you go as well, Hikaru. We tried to keep you for so long." She was trying hard not to cry.

She turned to Waya and in turn to two adults, Rui and Oka, who had once been like little siblings to both Akira and Hikaru. "But that fan, you know who he tried promising his fan to?" Waya asked with a wry laugh.

Akari nodded her head. "We know what he wanted to do with it. He mentioned it in his will, but it just said to leave it at his tomb which was to be in Innoshima, close to Shusaku's grave."

This peaked Isumi's interest as well who had be hovering beside Waya in case he needed comfort. "Well, Hikaru had gone to Innoshima right before he bought that fan. What's so special about the fan?" Waya smiled and almost hiccoughed between a sniffle and a laugh. "That's strange," he acrimoniously chuckled, "seeing as he willed a _blue _fan to the _real _Sai on his deathbed. He willed his fan to Sai."

Akari and Isumi sighed, not quite knowing what to say. "Sai," Isumi said to himself. Could it have been? Did that mean at one point there had been a fake Sai? Had Hikaru known Sai? Could he have _been _Sai?

Waya looked down at the tombstone, half expecting it to flash, 'sai'. "What's this say?" he asked upon looking at the engravings more closely. There were lines—lines of poetry, it seemed.

This time, Oka interrupted. "Apparently Hikaru-sensei had written it the day he disappeared or something." Rui nodded in agreement. "You don't remember? It was found with him in Innoshima in his handwriting. Shindo-san thought it was appropriate for her son because he really had been obsessed with Akira-sensei, and she imagined he was quite the poet."

A teenage boy edged closer to the gravestone. "Your teacher really wasn't much of one, Mom," he said to Oka.

Waya laughed a bitter laugh. "If only Hikaru could write poetry as well as he could play Go." Akari chuckled as well, reading the inscription with world-weary eyes.

Eternal rivals— thee and me  
Though plots, intrigue aim for me  
Death hath no power for the while  
This boy replace, thee shan't revile  
He needs support and love and strength  
Whilst truth win out to show its length  
Knowing the past has set me free  
aemuli sumus aeterni

Waya sighed and handed a slip of paper to Akari. "I recorded some of his last words. He mentioned a bunch of stuff, including the fan," he said. "I don't quite understand the last part, but it seemed oddly appropriate." The paper held a few lines. Akari motioned Aki to join her as she read Hikaru's last words.

"_Adding this to my last will and testament…My blue fan, to the real Sai. To Waya and Isumi, my friendship. To my students, knowledge and love. To my teachers, hope. To my family, happiness. To Toya Akira, eternity."_

* * *

**"Didn't you say we have eternity?"**

**"So I did."**

* * *

Well, that's all I'm writing for this, guys. I had fun writing this, and I enjoyed reading every single review. I'll miss it, because I have no fanfiction projects planned, except maybe for a DBZ or Harry Potter fic, and I don't know if the audience (you guys!) reads stories from that fandom. This might be our last story together! To all: have fun, live life, and know that you have eternity (or at least your whole life) ahead of you.

By the way, every weird little thing, every change and every linebreak has a purpose. If you have a question about things, like, "Why did you suddenly switch to present tense?" or "Why do you only use last names for the first part of the Afterlife narrative?" or "What does the Latin 'Aemuli sumus aeterni' mean?" just ask in a review.

Much love and thanks to: **Barranca **(who gave 7 wonderful thoughtful reviews--I love you), **Hissh****ou** (4 intrigueing reviews-thanks!), Giselle Bourignon, _Ginebra_ (who is technically my first reviewer ever), henge!locker, henriette, Raeigh, xX-WaterLilly-Xx, anon, Brolly501, CassandraD, EmoLollipop, Happy20, Ileranerak, Kitsune1, Lal Mirch, Leejungwang, LelaRo, LillyBaaaka, Phppsmss, PurpleKyu, sano, Shiruba Fokkusu, Tada21, and xDelta-Ha-chanx


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